Beneath City Lights
by Huntniffbastian
Summary: Sebastian is a college student trying to make it big in LA, Hunter is a mysterious gangster that he meets along the way. Hunter/Sebastian Thad/Jeff. Just so you all know, I'm not going to bother putting separate trigger warnings for everything, it's rated M for a reason so just keep that in mind.
1. Chapter 1

**Sebastian's Point of View**

I make my way down the crowded street, trying to make my way back home. It's been a long, hard day and I just want to get home. I was up at the crack of dawn to get to class and I've been going on ever sense. I sigh, forcing myself through a crowd of people, unapologetic to everyone I may have shoved in the process.

I don't have a clue what they're all there for, but it seems there's always something going on around here; anything from some kind of an event to a fatal shooting. Truth be told I gave up keeping up with it all a long time ago.

I moved to Los Angeles after high school to go college, but mostly because there's a lot more acting opportunities out here. All kinds of major productions are in the making all around me, and if I'm lucky, I might just stumble into one at the right time someday.

But it has plenty of cons, as well. I probably live in one of the most dangerous parts of the city because that's all that I can afford. Sounds weird for someone who comes from such a wealthy background, but your parents are only going to support you so much when you're so far away. I guess it's not so bad if you're stealthy about getting around and don't mind double-checking your doors and windows every night.

I glance nervously over my shoulder when I a gunshot fired from a few streets over. Stuff like this happens all the time, but it never fails to make me flinch. I try not to think on it much but I usually can't really help it. A few more shots are fired and I flinch again, quickening my pace.

"Scared?"

I nearly jump out of my skin, whirling around to see a dark figure leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette and casually approaching me.

I quickly gather my wits, trying to play it cool, "Startled, that's all." I force a smile, trying to get a better look at him.

"Fair enough," he mutters, in a deep, persuasive voice, "I can hardly blame you. If I looked like that, I wouldn't feel safe out here, either."

I nod, biting my lip, "How do you mean?" I ask with a nervous laughter.

He moves right beside me, tracing the collar of my shirt with his fingers, "You just…don't look like you're from this side of town."

I raise my eyebrows, trying to hide my nervousness, "I just like to dress up a little, I actually live right around here."

He knocks his hood off with a jerk of his head, smirking at me, "Well, your attitude matches your clothes, pretty boy. It's little out of place, don't you think? You living around here?"

I get a good look at his face while I have the chance. He's younger than I would have expected, probably in his early twenties, with mysterious hazel eyes and a killer smile. A complete and utter knock-out to say the least. I shrug, relaxing a little bit, "Look who's talking, that face sure gives me a run for my money."

He raises an eyebrow, "What are you saying?"

"Just that you're actually quite the pretty boy, yourself."

He casually tosses his arm around me, beginning to walk in the direction I was originally headed in, "I'm definitely easy on the eyes, but that doesn't make me a pretty boy. I've easily got 50 pounds of muscle on you, and I don't prance around in sea green polos."

I look self consciously down at my outfit, "Well, I, I, um-"

"I appreciate the compliment, though. Let me walk you home, though, It'd be a waste of a pretty face if you ended up like the blokes down on 53rd, if you know what I mean."

I nod, growing comfortable under his muscular arm, "Haha, sure. What about you? Are you from around here?"

"You could say that," he mutters carelessly, "Not originally, but I've been here a good few years now. What brings you to live here, anyway?"

"Acting opportunities, and I go to school out here."

"Ahh," he exclaims with a smirk on his face, "You're one of those…"

I frown, "What do you mean by_ one of those_?"

He shakes his head, smiling, "One of those sad kids that think that moving to LA will make all their pathetic dreams come true. You know they all end up dead or addicted to drugs, right? Hell, even the ones that get famous do…"

"Well, that's a hell of a thing to say, thanks so much for your support." I remark, offended.

He pulls me closer before I have time to pull away, "Oh, relax, I'm just being honest with you. Besides, I'm just trying to get you home in one piece, not fill you with false hope and tell you that you can achieve anything you put your mind to."

I roll my eyes, "Well, you asked."

"Yeah, I didn't say you shouldn't have mentioned it."

I do my best to shake it off, "Well, what are you doing out here?"

He grins, "I'm pretty much the real deal out here."

"What do you mean by that?"

He pets me roughly on the shoulder, "What do you think?"

"I think I have a good guess…" I murmur nervously, "Well, this is me." I add, stopping outside of my apartment complex.

He nods, "Alrighty, I'll see you later-" he pauses, "I didn't catch your name."

"Sebastian." I answer plainly, one hand on the door knob.

He smiles, "Sebastian. I'm Hunter."

I nod with a small grin.

"I'll see you around, pretty boy." he waves with mischievous leer.

"Bye, Hunter." I mutter, walking inside. I head up to my apartment with a frantic array of emotions pumping through my blood.

I unlock my front door, walking inside and sighing heavily. I don't know how to feel about this guy to be fully honest. Part of me wants to know him inside and out, but something else is warning to stay away.


	2. Chapter 2

I put my book bag down on the couch, sitting down with a deep sigh.

My roommate, Thad, looks over at me from his bedroom doorway, "Something on your mind?"

"You could say that." I huff, my eyes on the floor.

He walks into the room and takes a seat beside me, "What's going on?"

"It's nothing, really," I lie, "Nothing worth talking about much."

He raises his eyebrows, "Well that sounds like dishonesty at it's finest, if I do say so myself."

I roll my eyes, "The worst part is that it really isn't all that much that actually happened. I just can't stop thinking about it."

"So..." he pries, nudging me to go on, "What happened?"

I sigh, deep in thought, "Okay, okay. I met somebody. He was just this guy that I ran into on the street."

"Was he a hot guy?"

I nod, eyes widening for emphasis, "Oh yeah. Hot would be an understatement. But I don't know. I think he was hitting on me, you know, in that slightly irritating playful way. But there was something about him...I don't know if it's a good idea."

"Like what kind of _something about him_?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but I'm 98% that he might be kinda...dangerous, you know? Not the kind of guy that's probably safe to go around with."

He nods, thoroughly intrigued, "How was he unsafe, though? Do you mean he was like a man whore or married or..?"

"I think he was some kind of gangster. Like a legit one. You know, not just the kind that wears hats and overly loose jeans."

He raises his eyebrows, "Like guns and drugs and stuff?"

I nod, a worried expression on my face, "He didn't straight up say it, but I think it was implied pretty well..."

He leans in a little, "Well, how hot was he? You know, was he like a sexy bad boy type, or was it just one of those things where his attractiveness doesn't add up to all the risks involved?"

I shake my head in frustration, "Truth be told, I love a bad boy. I'm all into the thrill seeking, sexy allure of the whole idea. The only thing is just, I mean, unless we're just gonna have a one night stand or something... I like, I like him. Like I would date him, I don't just want to fuck him. And if I'm actually with him I'll worry about his well-being and safety 24 hours a day."

He looks a little shocked, but not taken off guard, "Honestly, I feel like go for it if you think it's worth it. And well, if not..."

I shrug, "Fair enough...Good God, I'm getting way ahead of myself. For all I know I'll never see him again."

"Did he give you a name?"

I nod, "Yeah, why?"

"Did you ask him first or did he ask you?"

"Um, he asked me first and then I asked his. What difference does it make?"

Thad grins, "If he asked you for your name it means that he has every intention of seeing you again, so why don't you relax? It seems to me that this guy is into you. And if he actually is than he'll make sure that he runs into you again. I want to meet him at some point, but maybe you should give it a shot. Just don't end up getting shot, cause that would suck a little bit."

I kick his shoe, "That's not even funny!"

He smirks, "Why, because it's relevant?"

I raise my eyebrows, "That's exactly why. I'm seriously nervous about this, don't fuck around with me."

"Sure, sure, just cool it, okay? It'll be fine, I promise."

"How the hell would you know?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, I've just got a good feeling. Call it a sixth sense or whatever."

I throw myself dramatically onto my back, "Thaaad, you don't understand my troubles."

He rolls his eyes, trying to pull me up by my arm, "I do, that's why I'm so damn helpful in telling you how to deal with them. I get what it's like being head-over-heels for someone. Just do as I say and you'll be happily married to the man of your dreams in the next 5 years."

"Five years?" I exclaim in theatrical horror.

"You're not even 20 years old, here, Bas, let's be realistic..."

"Fine," I grumble, sitting up, "But if this back fires and kicks me in the ass-"

"Then I'll have lots of liquor ready and I'll let you cry on my shoulder." he interrupts before I can threaten him.

I shrug, "That'll have to do for now. I'm gonna head to bed, I'm totally beat." I mutter, standing up and stretching my arms.

"Fair enough," he replies, "I'm going out tonight. I'd invite you to come but I have a feeling that you won't want to come."

I shake my head, "As great as getting totally hammered sounds, I'm exhausted and I have class again tomorrow, so I'd better turn in."

"Suit yourself," he says, grabbing a jacket, "I have class tomorrow but you're only young once, so..."

I smile at him, "I'll probably tag along next time. I've got a lot on my mind right now."

"Alright, well, sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow." He replies.

I nod, "Have a good night. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He grins, "I don't think that's even possible."

"Don't do a lot of things that I would do."

"Sure, goodnight." he mutters with a wave, walking out the door.

I walk into my bedroom and get ready for bed. I'm wide awake until 2 A.M. obsessing over Hunter and all the possibilities that our relationship could ever amount to, the good and the bad. I know that it's probably damaging for my mental health to think about somebody this much when you barely know them, but I can't help it. My mind refuses to go anywhere else.


	3. Chapter 3

I haven't seen Hunter for a few weeks following the night that we met and I'm starting to worry. I mean, I guess we only ran into each other the first time on coincidence, and coincidences have never been known for consistency.

I've nearly given up hope as I walk out of the apartment one night, going to meet up with Thad and some others at a bar down town. I pull my sweater over my head as I walk down the hall, it can get pretty chilly at night sometimes. I open the front door and head out into the late night air.

I'm taken aback a little when I see Hunter walking towards me, a wry grin across his perfect face, "Hey, Sebastian, I was just coming to see you."

I try to not to smile too much when I see him, but I can literally feel my heart bounce in my chest a little, "Hey, Hunter. I was wondering if I'd ever see you around again."

He walks up to me, hands in his pockets, "Where you heading to at this hour, anyway? You know it's kinda late."

I shrug, walking beside him, "I was just going to meet up with some friends and get some drinks down town, you're welcome to join if you want."

He pulls a hand out of his pocket and links arms with me as we make our way to the sidewalk, "I guess. Truth be told I was kinda hoping I'd get you alone, though..."

I panic underneath my skin, of course I'm happy to hear him say that, I'm just not sure what to say back. I'm awkwardly quiet for a moment before I mumble out an incoherent mess, "Um, haha, yeah,um, I guess, sure, I mean-"

"Hey, relax, if you're not comfortable with it, I'm not gonna drag you inside by your hair." he says with a playful laugh.

I look down, embarrassed, "Sorry. And no, it's not that I'm uncomfortable with it, I guess I'm just a little intellectually challenged at the moment."

He smirks, "Is it the intellect that's got you or is it something else? Don't worry about, though. I have that effect on a lot of people."

I roll my eyes, "It's just late, that's all."

He wraps his arm around my waist suddenly, facing towards me, "Well, if you're not uncomfortable with it, and as much as I'd love to see a preppy boy like you get shit faced, how about we ditch the bar and I take you back to mine."

My arms instinctively wrap around his neck, "Are you sure that's what you want?" I bite down hard on my lip, trying to keep my wits about me.

He brushes his cheek against mine, lips stopping centimeters away from my ear, "Do I come off as uncertain to you?" he whispers seductively.

I shake my head and lower my voice, playing along, "I guess maybe not so much."

He makes space between us, taking my hand and turning into a dark alleyway, "Great. This is just a short cut, I don't live that far away from you, actually."

I nod nervously, following along, "Really? It's weird that I haven't seen you in weeks, then..."

He raises his eyebrows, "Sorry, I've been kinda busy, you know? But I didn't forget about you."

I shrug, "Yeah, that's true."

"You sound a little...irritated with me." he says casually as we make our way back onto a normal street.

"Not irritated...just a little, I don't know, concerned." I mutter, somewhat honestly.

He doesn't say much, just leads me the rest of the way to his apartment, a tight grip on my hand and a half smile on his face.

I glance around nervously as we walk across the lawn to his apartment building. It's not in any worse shape than mine is, but it's just somehow darker looking. Maybe it's because it's at night, or because it's overshadowed by some other buildings, but something about it makes me uneasy.

He opens the back door, leading me inside and closing it behind me. The interior is a little bit better with the lights on. It looks like any other small yet cozy downtown apartment.

He glances over at me, taking his jacket off and hanging it up. I don't do anything, just stand there, watching him. He walks towards me, pulling my sweater off over my head and setting aside. I just stare at him, biting my lip slightly.

He rests a hand and looks me in the eye, "You can relax, you know. But, if you don't mind me asking, what's the matter? I can tell something's up."

I look down at the floor for a moment and then back up at him, "I don't know. I guess I'm just kinda nervous being out here. And I'm a little confused, about us, you know?"

"Come here," he mutters, picking me up. I automatically cling to him with my arms and legs as he walks into his bedroom. He sets me down on his bed and turns the lamp on. He puts his hand on my leg, sitting down beside me, "I'm really into you. I get that you're nervous and maybe that's why I'm not climbing all over you. But I sure as hell want to."

I try not to smile too much, "Yeah, okay. I'm cool. I guess I just needed to here that."

He grins, wrapping his arms around my waist, "So how do you feel about me fucking you tonight?"

I nod, "Um, yeah, sure, that'd be cool."

"Well that sounded really certain." he laughs.

"Sorry," I mutter, embarrassed, But yeah. Fuck me."

He lets go of me, standing up, "Consent enough. I'm just gonna grab some whiskey or something to cool your nerves a little."

I nod as he walks out of the room, "Sounds good."

I inhale deeply in the moment that I'm alone, hands clenched in fists, nails digging into my palms. I exhale, trying to clear my mind and keep my cool. This is what I wanted, I think. This is what I've been waiting for. An aching pain in my stomach tells me that I'm not so sure. True, it's not too late to turn back yet, but that doesn't mean that will.

Hunter walks back into the room with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses of ice. He sits down beside me, pouring us both a shot, "Are you sure that you're alright?"

I nod halfheartedly, "Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks." I force a smile, accepting the glass he passes me.

"We don't have to do it right this minute, you know..." he says smoothly, putting his arm around me, "Of course I want to get my hands all over you, but I don't want you to get scared and freak out or anything weird like that." He kisses me on the cheek, sending a hot shock of electricity through me.

"I won't freak out, I promise." I down my shot and hold my glass for another.

He smirks, filling it up to the top, "If you insist."

A few shots later, I curl up into the fetal position on his bed and he pets my hair, "What are you thinking about?"

I reach out for his hand, squeezing it tightly, "Just...us. The possibilities. I probably shouldn't tell you all this, should I?"

"I don't know, maybe. I guess that's up to you, sweet heart."

I grin, "That's a cute name."

He looks down at me with amused confusion, "Sweet heart?"

I nod, "I think I like it. I like it when you call me cute names and stuff."

He smiles, lying down beside me, arms wrapped around my waist, "Are you really falling in love with me already?"

I turn around, facing towards him and rest my head on his chest, "I think so. But it's a secret and I don't want anyone but you to know, okay?"

He takes my chin gently in his hand and rests a soft kiss on my lips, "I'll take it to the grave, baby."

I grin uncontrollably, "You don't have to. You can tell people. But I only love you, though."

"You're pretty drunk, huh?" he chuckles.

"I don't know, "I slur, "I guess. But that doesn't mean that I don't mean it when I say that I love you."

He smiles warmly, "I love you, too. I think you should probably let yourself pass out, though."

"Why?" I ask, blinking a few times, "I thought we were gonna make it happen."

He shakes his head, giggling, "We'll 'make it happen' another time, sweet heart, you're way too out of it right now."

"I'm sorry," I murmur, "I promise I will next time."

"Okay," he replies, stroking up and down my spine, "I'll hold you to that."

"Mhm." I put my arms around his neck, breathing in his warmth, "Goodnight, Hunter."

"Goodnight, Sebastian."

"I love you."

"I love you."

I'm too drunk to really think much about what just happened, but I feel completely and utterly satisfied. Tonight didn't go where I thought it would, but truth be told, I couldn't be happier. I can't recall the last time I've felt so safe and comfortable, and I don't want to lose this feeling. I don't want to lose him. I tighten my grip around him, closing my eyes. If the world ended now, my only regret would be that I didn't have more time with him. Nevertheless, at this exact moment in time, I couldn't ask for more.


	4. Chapter 4

I awake the next morning to a ray of golden morning sunlight peaking in through the curtains and a warm embrace all around me. I blink a few times, looking up at Hunter's face. He's awake, his clear hazel eyes wide open, looking down at me. He smiles when he notices I've woken up, tightening his arms around my back, "Morning, sleepy head."

I beam up at him, still in somewhat of a daze, "Good morning, handsome."

He runs his hand through the back of my hair, "Did you sleep alright?"

I nod, "Great, actually, thanks. You?"

"Yeah. Just fine. How are you feeling?"

I sit up a little bit, "I guess I'm okay. A little nauseous, but I can't complain."

He pulls himself up til he's fully sitting, leaning against the wall. He nudges my head into lap, still stroking my hair, "Do you remember what you said to me last night?"

I bite my lip, "Vaguely. I think I might have mentioned-" I freeze, recalling some of the things I inevitably told him.

He grins, kissing me on the forehead, "Good. That makes things a little bit easier, then, huh?"

I look down abashedly, "I guess, yeah, it does. You don't take any of it back, do you?"

He shakes his head, "I don't say things I don't mean."

"Good," I mutter, deep in thought, "Can I ask you something?"

"Ask away."

"How are you so sure about this? I mean, you don't really know anything about me..."

He casually shrugs his shoulders, "This might sound tacky. And especially weird coming from a guy like myself, but I guess you can call it love at first sight. It's not something I really ever believed in before. But when I first saw you, I had to have you. I made up my mind in a fraction of a second, you were going to be mine at all costs. And I can't be grateful enough that it wasn't all that difficult."

I smile playfully, "Are you calling me easy?"

"No," he replies with a smirk, "I'm just saying I'm glad that you already felt the same way."

"Don't get too cocky," I comment, taking one of his hands in mine, "You don't know that for sure."

"Actually I do, you were the first one to use the 'L' word, so..."

"Was I?" I ask, eyebrows raised.

He nods, "Not that would even know."

"I was drunk, it didn't count." I joke.

He purses his lips, "I actually remember you say something along the lines of, _I really meant it even though I'm drunk._"

I shake my head, "I did not."

"No, you really did."

He kisses me on the cheek and stands up, stretching his arms, "You hungry?"

I shrugs, sitting up, "Eh, not particularly. I don't know." I follow him out of bed, reaching out for a hug.

He smirks, pulling me into his arms, "Do you have to be anywhere today?"

My eyes widen, "What's today?"

"Saturday," he answers, letting go of me and changing his shirt.

I let out a sigh of relief, "No, I'm good. I almost had a panic attack there, though. I totally just forgot about everything." I check out his perfectly toned body for the short moment he doesn't have a shirt on.

He glances over his shoulder at me, "See something you like?"

"No shit," I mutter sliding my hands under his shirt, "Is it too late for us to fuck?"

He grimaces, "Actually, yeah, for the time being. I have shit I have to take care of today. I'll drop you off and pick you up late tonight?"

I frown, still clinging to him, "How late?"

"Not sure," he kisses me on the head, releasing me to put his shoes on, "Not before 11, for sure."

I nod with a sad sigh, "Okay. I'll miss you today."

"Yeah. I'll miss you, too, babe."

He drops me off in his fancy car and I go inside. Part of me wants to freak, but most of me is just dead silent. It's almost like when you're badly injured but so doped up on medication you can't really feel anything. I'm happy that he's mine, and I know I can't be so selfish as to ask him to stay with me constantly, but I feel like my heart's been ripped out of me when I see him leave. It's insane, and I know that, but I just can't shake the way that I feel about him.

I toss my clothes onto my bed and take a long, steaming hot shower. My brain's in a fog and I don't know how to kick it. Not to mention the brutal hangover certainly doesn't help me any.

By the time I get out of the shower, Thad's home, sitting on the couch watching some mindless sitcom. I flop down next to him in my bathrobe, "What's up, dude?"

"Hey, Sebastian. Where were you last night? I was beginning to think you got kidnapped or something."

I sigh, "Yeah right. I ran into Hunter actually, spent the night at his place."

Thad grins, raising his eyebrows, "Oh yeah? How was it? He any good?"

I clench my teeth together, "Truth be told, we didn't fuck. He wanted to, I wanted to. But I was kinda nervous so he gave me a bunch of booze and it just didn't happen."

He looks surprised, "Explain to me how you getting drunk resulted in you guys not doing it..."

I shrug, "I don't know. It's fine, though. We cuddled in his bed all night and a few special words might have slipped."

"Shut up!" he replies, "You can't be that serious about each other already."

"Well we are," I mutter, a dazed grin across my face, "He said it was love at first sight."

He looks amused and shocked at the same time, "Wow, that's just ridiculous. Why isn't my life as absurdly amazing as yours?"

I shrug, "Maybe you've just been barking up the wrong trees. Nobody actually finds their true love at a sleazy gay bar, you know."

"Like you're one to talk," he says, rolling his eyes.

I zone out, eyes on the television and my mind somewhere else entirely.


	5. Chapter 5

The way the rest of the day seemed to drag on was almost painful. I'm worn out and hung over but I can't seem to fall asleep.

I'm curled up on the couch when Thad walks in and pets me on the back, "Are you alright over there?"

I sigh, giving him a weak smile, "I guess so. Just not feeling so hot."

He sits down next to me, "You're already way too attached to this Hunter guy, you know."

I nod, "Yeah, I do." I sit up a little bit, crossing my arms, "I'm working on it."

"What time is he picking you up?"

"I don't know. Should have been a while ago, now." I frown.

"So that's why you're so upset..." he mutters, "Well, if you think he's blowing you off we should totally get you out here for a while. You haven't been outside all day."

Just as I'm about to give up hope on Hunter and our plans for the night, my phone rings. I glance over at Thad, "You mind?"

He shakes his head, "Of course not. Go ahead."

I quickly hit the answer button, "Hello?"

"Hey, Bas, it's Hunter."

"Hey, where are you?"

He hesitates for a moment, "I have a situation that came up. I'm really sorry. You can still come over if you don't believe me, I just kinda don't think you'd want to."

"Why? What's going on?"

"There's this, kid, he's hurt. I'm taking care of him for the night." He explains, his voice sounding troubled.

"Are you with him now?"

"Yeah. He doesn't look like he's doing too good..."

I sigh, biting my lip, "Yeah, I'll be over. Don't worry about picking me up, I'll just walk."

"Don't go alone. Is anyone around?" He asks, worried.

"My roommate's here, but I don't know, can he come over, too?"

"Can he keep a secret and does he have a weak stomach?"

"Yes and no."

"Fine. Be here ASAP."

He doesn't sound thrilled and hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. I turn to Thad, putting my phone back in my pocket, "I don't know what's going on exactly, but he's with someone that's injured. I don't know what happened exactly. Can you come with?"

He raises his eyebrows, "Why?"

I fold my hands nervously, "You're a med student..."

"Yeah, a med _student._" He replies, "I'll come with you but I'm totally confused."

I nod, "I could be wrong, but I don't this guy's got much of a chance if it's anything serious. I'm assuming there's a reason that he's not in the ER, if you know what I mean. I just, feel better if you come."

"Fine," he mutters, pulling a jacket on, "Let's go."

I lead him down the back roads to Hunter's apartment, knocking frantically on the door. He opens it relatively quickly, a grave expression on his face and blood splattered on his t shirt, "Hey, come in."

I give him a concerned look, "You're not hurt, are you?"

He shakes his head, "No. I'm fine. I don't know about him, though..." He adds, glancing over at the couch.

There's a boy lying there, probably a little bit younger than me. His face is paler than his platinum blond hair and he appears to only be half conscious, holding tightly to his side a blood soaked towel. I look at Hunter, a horrified expression on my face, "Is he...is he gonna make it? What happened to him?"

He bites his lip, "He was shot," he explains solemnly, "I took the bullet out and wrapped him up as best as I could. I...I don't know if he's gonna live or not."

Without as much as introducing himself to anyone, Thad rushes over to the boy on the couch, carefully turning him onto his back, "I need a needle, thread, ice and some rubbing alcohol, now."

Me and Hunter exchange panicked looks and rush to get everything. We quickly gather everything and give it to Thad. He glances over at Hunter, "Is this needle sanitized?"

Hunter nods, "Of course."

"Can't believe you didn't even stitch this up," Thad mutters under his breath, removing the wrapping Hunter had put around the wound, "He could've bled to death..."

"But he's not going to?" I ask hopefully.

"Not sure," Thad replies, not paying much attention to me.

Hunter turns to me, "Does he know what he's doing?"

I nod, "Better than either of us do. He's been in medical school for quite some time now..."

"Okay." Hunter murmurs, he turns to Thad, "We'll be in the other room. Just call if you need us."

Thad nods and Hunter leads me into his bedroom, sitting me down, "Are you alright?"

I sigh, "Yeah. I'm okay. I'm just worried, I guess. Can you please explain to me what the hell is going on around here?"

He nods, putting a hand on my thigh, "It's complicated. Truth be told I don't really know this kid, but he's from a gang around here. Or at least he used to be. He was in pretty rough shape when I found him and he didn't say much that I could really understand. I guess he got into some kind of brawl and was left for dead, I only caught the tail end of it."

"What were you doing in a gang fight?"

He sighs, "I wasn't directly in this one, but I told you what I do. And sometimes you have to do what you have to do. You're going to have to accept that of we're going to be together."

I nod mutely, a lump in my throat. I want to freak out. I want to cry. But now isn't the time for that. That kid's life is on the line, and I have to set my feelings aside for the time being time. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him weakly on the lips.

He pulls me close against him, kissing me back, "It'll be alright, babe. Just try to relax, okay?"

"Okay." I whisper, climbing onto his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.

We wait there silently in nervous anticipation. I'm happy to be with him, but there's so much more on our minds at the moment. I have a knot in my stomach, praying to any god who's willing to listen. Thad's brilliant, if there was any chance of him living at all, he'll make it. I cross my fingers, biting down on my tongue.


	6. Chapter 6

None of us sleep a wink that night, even after Thad finishes doing all he can for his patient. I stay cuddled up with Hunter until around 4 A.M. when the boy finally starts to stir.

Hunter rushes to his side while Thad watch from across the room. He blinks a few times, revealing wide, golden brown eyes.

Hunter takes his hand, "Hey," he whispers comfortingly, "Are you alright."

The boy's eyes drift over to Hunter, "You probably know better than I do right now," he replies weakly, "Where am I?"

"My apartment," Hunter answers, "I found you nearly bleeding to death after a gang fight. I guess you looked too young to die to me. What's your name?"

"Jeff," he mutters quietly, "Who are you?"

"I'm Hunter. Are you in a lot of pain?"

Jeff nods, "Yeah, to be honest. More than a lot."

Hunter stands up, "I'll get you something for that."

Jeff grimaces, "Don't bother unless you have stuff they don't sell in the pharmacy."

Hunter smirks, "You're in luck, I deal all kinds of stuff. What's your fix?"

"Smack, but I don't have more than twenty bucks in my pocket."

"I'll let this one slide, only because I know how much a bitch withdrawals can be." Hunter mutters, walking into the other room.

Me and Thad exchange worried looks. I don't like the idea of my boyfriend dealing hard drugs, and Thad doesn't look crazy about the idea, either.

Jeff looks over at us and I give him an awkward smile, "Hey."

"Hi." He mutters in an odd tone and then glances over at Thad.

Thad smiles, "Hey, how are you doing?"

He forces a smile, "Great. Clearly..."

Thad roles his eyes, "You don't need to be so sarcastic, you know. I'd be a little nicer to the guy who saved my life, if I was you."

Jeff looks surprised, "Oh! I'm sorry. I..didn't know."

Thad smiles, petting Jeff's back, "It's alright, I'm just teasing you."

I glance over to see Hunter walk into the room, a plastic bag in his hand. He kneels down beside Jeff, taking his arm, "You generally use needles right?"

Jeff nods, "Yeah."

Hunter ties his forearm tightly and injects the drug into his arm. Thad sighs, looking at me as though he's waiting for me to say something. I don't, though, just let my eyes drop to the floor, unsure how to feel.

Jeff sits up a little after a moment, "Thank you so much."

Hunter smirks, "Don't mention it, kid." He walks over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders, "How's it going?" He asks, lowering his voice.

I force a smile, "Fine. We can talk later."

"So not fine, then?"

I shrug, "Fine enough. Don't worry about it."

He frowns, his hands beginning to run down my back, "I can't help it, babe. I know something's bugging you."

Jeff smirks from across the room, "I didn't know he was your boyfriend," he says to Hunter, "You guys are super cute."

Hunter glances over his shoulder at Jeff, "Thanks." then turns back to me, "Come on, Bas. Don't act all upset and then not tell me what's wrong."

I peck him on the cheek, and then take a seat on the recliner, "We'll talk later, Hunt."

He sighs, rolling his eyes in frustration, "Whatever." He sits down at the foot of the couch, petting Jeff's leg, "Feel any better yet?"

Jeff nods, "Yeah, I think I'm gonna be alright. I really can't thank you enough." He glances around the room, "All of you."

Hunter smirks, "What are friends for?"

Jeff's face lights up, "We're friends?"

"Don't get too excited."

"Hey, Thad?" I mutter, looking over at him. Thad walks over to me, leaning in, "What's up, dude?"

"You wanna head home?" I ask, almost whispering.

He nods, "Yeah. Sure."

I walk over to Hunter, kissing him on the head, "We're gonna head out now, okay?"

He pulls me onto his lap, "How come?"

"I'm tired, not feeling so hot. Is that okay?"

He shrugs halfheartedly, "Yeah sure."

Before I can stand up, he grabs my head and pulls me into a intense his kiss. His hands are suddenly all over me, his tongue forcing it's way into my mouth. I let myself give in for a moment, enjoying every ounce of his passion. He suddenly releases me, sending a cold shiver throughout my body. He smiles, "I'll see you soon, right?"

I nod, breathless as I get back to my feet, "Yeah, absolutely."

Thad and I walk home together, both of us quiet at first before he finally breaks the silence, "What are you thinking about?"

I sigh, shaking my head, "Truth be told, I'm just worrying, mostly. I don't like the idea of Hunter doing what he does, I guess. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well just get over it. It's just...hard."

He nods understandingly, petting me on the back, "Hunter's clearly a tough guy, I'm sure he can take care of himself."

I shake my head, "You saw what shape that Jeff kid was in. He would be dead right now if it weren't for you."

"True," Thad explains, "But Jeff and Hunter are clearly different. Jeff's just so...innocent looking, I guess. There's no way in hell that he knows what he's doing the way Hunter does. Jeff was probably some kinda runt in his gang, you know? Hunter's probably not too far from the top..."

"Yeah..." I reply, doing my best to really believe what he's saying.

We get to the apartment and walk inside. I lie down on the couch, crossing my legs. Thad takes off his jacket, pacing back and forth, seeming even more uneasy than me.

"You alright?" I ask, noticing the troubled look on his face.

"I don't know." he answers bleakly, "I'm worried about Jeff, to be honest. I don't think your man is gonna take very good care of him, and he clearly doesn't know how to take care of himself. I just feel like, what if we saved his life just for him to overdose and kill himself?"

I reach out and take his hand, "It'll be alright, dude. I'll check in on him whenever go to see Hunter. And he's more helpful than you probably think he is. Just because he gave Jeff drugs doesn't mean-"

"He nearly let him bleed to death," Thad interrupts, "Maybe we should have Jeff stay here for now."

I sigh, "Maybe. I'll talk to him, alright? Try to relax."

"I'm gonna take a shower." he mutters, walking out of the room.

I nod, curling up on the couch and try to fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The following morning Thad and I both head back to Hunter's. Thad is worried sick about Jeff, and I'm just worried in general. I don't bother to call first, and we only knock once before inviting ourselves.

"Hunter?" I call, looking around, "It's Sebastian and Thad. Are you home?"

"Hunter went out," we hear Jeff respond from the other room, "You can come in, though."

I follow Thad into the main room and he immediately heads over to Jeff, "How are you feeling?"

Jeff gives Thad a weak smile, "A little bit better, thanks. Of course I'm still in a lot of pain, but everything considered, I'm doing great."

He smiles, kneeling down beside him, "Can you turn over a little bit so I can take a look at it?"

Jeff nods, turning slowly onto his back.

Thad carefully removes the bandages, looking closely at Jeff's stitches, "Hmm, looks okay, but I guess it hasn't been too long."

Jeff turns his head to take a look at himself, "Oh God, that is so much worse when I actually see it."

Thad quickly covers it back up, petting Jeff's back. Jeff smiles up at him, "This might sound a little bit weird, and it's not that I'm uncomfortable or anything, but who are you?"

He smiles, "Haha, sorry. I'm like your doctor, for now, I guess. I'm Thad, I think you know that. But um, I'm Hunter's boyfriend's," he nudges to me, "Friend slash roommate. It sounds like a mouthful."

Jeff smirks, "Fair enough. I'm Jeff. To be fully honest, I don't know Hunter from a whole in the wall, but I guess we're pretty tight now."

"Speaking of which," I ask, entering the conversation, "Where is he?"

The blond shrugs, "Not sure. He said that he had some errands to run and that he shouldn't be out long."

"How long ago was that?"

"A good hour, he should be home any minute."

I nod, taking a seat on the couch, "Okay. Thank you."

We spend the rest of the afternoon hanging around Hunter's apartment and taking care of Jeff. Hunter doesn't show up until late, so we get pretty comfortable even though we don't live here.

Hunter finally shows up around six o'clock that night, surprised to see us. Jeff looks over at him, "Hey, so much for not too long."

Hunter rolls his eyes, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek, "You know how it is, kiddo."

Now it's Jeff's turn to roll his eyes, "Why do you always call me that? I can't be much younger than you are."

Hunter raises an eyebrow, "Doubt it. How old are you?"

"17, you?"

Hunter grins playfully, "I've got four years on you, kiddo."

Jeff grunts with disappointment. Hunter turns to Thad and I, "How long have you guys been here, anyway?"

Thad looks almost guilty for a second, "A while now. Since noon, maybe."

Hunter looks a little bit surprised, but not at all bothered, "Oh, um great. Good to know Jeff wasn't alone."

I walk over to Hunter, giving him a hug, "So where were you all day, babe?"

He kisses me briefly on the lips, "I had some business to attend to, nothing major."

I frown slightly, "What kind of business?"

"Nothing important." He mutters irritably, walking away from me.

I sigh, "Hey! We need to talk about this."

He rolls his eyes, "Sebastian, there's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is."

"No, there isn't!"

"Goddamnit, Hunter!" I turn and walk out the back door, not caring if I make a scene.

He follows me outside, grabbing me by the arm, "Seriously? Don't do this, Bas, what the fuck is your problem?"

I pull away from him, "You know what my problem is, Hunter! I don't know where the hell you are all the time, who you're with, what trouble you could be getting into..."

"You're not my fucking mother! It's not your goddamn business!"

I bite my lip, holding back tears, "You said you loved me. I said I loved you, and unlike you, I meant it! I care about what you're doing, I worry about you. All the time! And if you can't deal with that, just let me walk away!"

He grabs me roughly around the shoulders, "Just calm the fuck down, okay? I meant it when I said that I loved you, too, so don't you dare start with the accusations! I'm trying to keep you safe, you fucking idiot! I don't want you to get involved with what I do!"

I try to pull away, but his grip is too strong and I eventually give in, tears leaking from my eyes. His grip quickly changing from bone crushing to affectionate. He lets out a sigh, stroking my hair, "I...I'm sorry." he mutters, a hint of pain in his voice.

I wrap my arms around his neck, "Me too. I didn't mean to lose my temper..."

"It's not your fault," he replies, "You just wanted to talk, and I wouldn't let you."

I shrug, "I don't know..."

He kisses me on the cheek, "It's okay, babe."

I pull away from him a little bit, "But is it? We really haven't solved anything..."

He takes my hand comfortingly, "Sure we have. Not out fundamental problem, but we're established some other important things."

I sigh, "Like what?"

He smiles, "Like we're not giving up on each other. And even if we didn't fix anything, we made it through our first fight without too much damage. It's an easier world to live in if you can appreciate the small stuff."

I let a faint grin pass across my features, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But still, please, just tell me what you're doing. I'm not going to make you take me with you, but I need to know."

"Fine," he replies sternly, "But only if you can promise me you won't get mad about what I do, and not try to stop me from doing them."

I hesitate, really thinking about my options, "Fine. But can I stay the night?"

He nods, "I'd love it if you did. Maybe keep Thad over too, actually. He can take care of Jeff so we can finally get some one on one time." He winks, leading me back into the house.


	8. Chapter 8A

I thought that it would be a challenge to get Thad to stay the night with me, but's it's surprisingly easy. He really likes being around Jeff, either that or his level compassion was strong enough to potentially harm his own well being.

I follow Hunter into his bedroom after getting Thad settled on an air mattress in the living room with Jeff. Hunter lets out a small sigh of relief as he shuts the door behind me, taking off his shoes, "What's on your mind?"

I glance over at him, not even noticing that I've scarcely moved an inch sense I entered the room, "Oh, um, nothing, sorry."

"It's fine." he mutters, getting back up, "I'm gonna take a quick shower. Surprise me when I come back?"

I smile playfully, "I might be able to think something up."

"Unless you wanna shower with me?" he offers, "I'd like it if you did."

I try to keep my mind clean, but it's nearly impossible, "Um, yeah, sure."

He grins, leading me into the bathroom and shutting the door.

I keep my eyes fixed on the aqua curtains as I undress myself, a strange nervousness in the pit of my stomach.

I exhale slowly as I feel his arms wrap around me and his bare chest press against my back.

I turn to face him, grinning and giving him a peck on the mouth.

He smiles, helping me undress the rest of the way.

I bite my lip, checking out his toned, naked body as he turns the shower on. He's pure muscle from head to toe, with just the slightest bit of tan on his skin. He turns around, smirking, "I bet you wanna a piece of this."

I chuckle, climbing into the shower, "Can you want something that you already have?"

He follows me in, closing the curtains, "I'd tackle you right now if it wouldn't result in concussions for one or both of us."

I rest a hand on his hip, steaming hot water raining heavily on both of us. He raises his eyebrows, "You look really great naked, you know?"

I crinkle my noes, "Not really."

He rolls his eyes, stroking my arm, "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

I shake my head, "Look at you and then look at me. There's no comparison."

"Oh, shut up," he mutters, "You're gorgeous as hell. We just have different body types."

I force a smile, "Whatever, if you say so."

"I do." He grabs me by my hips and pulls me into a kiss.

I let out a sigh of satisfaction as we open our mouths, tongues crashing together frantically. His hands slide down to my ass, squeezing it hard and not letting go. I twitch a little bit and I can feel him grinning from under our kiss.

He suddenly pulls away, squirting some shampoo into his hand and lathering up his hair. I reach up and help him scrub. He wipes his soapy hands all over me, grinning. I raise an eyebrow, "So that's how this is going down."

He smirks, shampooing my hair, "You need to clean up, too, you know."

"Are you saying I smell or something?" I laugh.

He grabs me and pulls me into a sloppy kiss.

I pull away, giggling, "You're gonna get soap in my mouth!"

He raises his eyebrows, "Well that might be because you have a dirty mouth." He pours more soap into his hands and moves closer to me.

I back away, hitting the wall, "Don't even think about it."

He rests his hands on my chest, slowly sliding them downwards. He looks at me seductively, licking his lips, "Too late." he whispers.

I stare into his eyes for a moment, then look down at his rapidly stiffening cock, brushing slightly against my leg.

He grabs my face, placing kisses up my throat and stopping at my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck, edging my tongue into the inside of his bottom lip. He smiles, picking me up and holding me up against the wall. I exhale heavily, feeling myself get hard. He smiles, sucking on my tongue.

We stay in that position for a while, making out and casually touching each other as we let the tension build up in the steamy shower.

"You ready?" he whispers, pulling me up a little bit higher. I smile, staring into his clear, hazel eyes, "Yeah."

He grins, roughly shoving his cock into my ass. I let a gasp of pain that's quickly extinguished with a moan of pure ecstasy. I latch tightly onto him with my arms and legs as he begins rocking me up and down. I can't help but enjoy the sound of his breath quickening and the rapid pounding of his heart pressed up against me. He pushes me harshly up against the wall, fucking me hard with a fast paced rhythm.

I feel my body turn to jelly as an orgasm hits me, gasping for air. "Hunt..." I try to mutter, but there's not enough oxygen in the room to allow me to speak right now. Hunter moans as I pull his hair, pulling me against him until he was completely inside of me. I kiss him wherever I can get my lips in a panicked motion.

"Fuck, baby, holy-" he mutters as I push back hard on him. He takes a lot longer to get off then I do, and continues to fuck the lights out of me until he finally gets his fill. I close my eyes as I feel him cum inside of me, his teeth digging thoughtlessly into the base of my neck. He takes his time, continuing to rock into me until he's completely limp.

He eventually puts me down, pulling me into another kiss, both of panting heavily. The kiss breaks off and he wraps his arms around me, "Holy fucking shit, babe." he mutters in satisfaction. I nod in agreement, not saying anything else.

We both clean up some more in the shower before heading out. A cold breeze of air hits us as he opens the shower curtain. He takes my hand, helping me out of the shower and wrapping me up in a warm, fluffy towel. He wraps another one around his waist as we walk back into his room.

I smile at him, leaning my head against his chest, "That was amazing, babe..."

He grins, "Yeah, it was."

He takes his towel off and uses it to dry his hair. He helps dry me off and tosses both of our towels into the corner.

"Come on," he mutters, climbing into bed. I nod, getting into bed with him, both of us still completely naked.

He wraps his arms around me and we both close our eyes, enjoying every second of this perfect moment that we both have been waiting for what's felt like forever.


	9. Chapter 8B

**Jeff's P.O.V.**

I glance down at Thad sometime around midnight, "Are you still awake?" I ask in a hoarse whisper.

He turns to face me, "Yeah, I'm awake. What's up?"

I turn towards him, a sharp pain shooting up my side, "Mmph, nothing..." I mutter, the pain showing up in my voice.

He sits up, resting a hand on my arm, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry," I answer, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" he asks.

I nod, "Yeah. I'm okay."

He sighs, lying back down, "Can I ask you something? If you don't mind..."

"Yeah, sure."

He looks down, quiet for a moment, "Sorry, I guess I don't really know where to start."

I smirk, "Alright, take your time."

He pauses, deep in thought, "I don't know...Just like, who are you exactly?"

"Well," I mutter, almost unsure myself, "I'm Jeff."

He nods, "Well, yeah, but like, I don't know more specifically..."

I smirk, "I'm Jeff Sterling."

"Ugh, you know what I mean." he explains, shaking his head.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Hmm, well," he begins, "How'd you end up the way Hunter found you? You're way too young to be involved with that kind of stuff."

"If only," I mutter with a smirk, "I'm not the youngest person I've seen around, you know?" I sigh, "But anyway, It's not really all the complicated. I'm in a gang, gangs fight with other gangs, people get hurt."

Thad reaches out and takes my hand, "You sound a little...I don't know, neutral on the subject."

I shrug, "It is what it is, I guess."

"Are you going to go back to your gang when you're better?"

"I don't know. I don't want to, honestly, but I don't have anywhere else to go. I'm pretty homeless. I don't have family to turn to. That gang's all I got, you know?"

"Jeff..." he replies, a gentle softness in his voice, "I'll have to ask Sebastian, but you can stay with us. You shouldn't go back. You almost died. I can't let you go back to that."

I pause, thinking, "Are you sure about that? I mean, you don't even know me, you've already done more than enough to help me..."

"I've had a good feeling about you since I first met you." he replies with a comforting smile, "I'd be happy to help you."

I nod, grinning, "Really?"

He smiles, "Yes."

I sit up a little bit, holding onto my side.

"You alright?" he asks, quickly helping me support myself.

I nod, blushing, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

We both pause for a moment, staring at each other in the eyes. He puts his hand on the back of my head and pulls me into a gentle kiss. My hand instinctively goes to his shoulder and my eyes shut. He suddenly pulls away, startling me.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, lying back down, "I didn't mean to-"

I shake my head, "No, it's okay. I don't mind. Like, at all."

He sighs, "But you didn't want me to do that."

"Maybe I did," I mutter, "I think I just didn't know that I wanted you to."

"If you're sure," he replies, "I wouldn't want to make you feel pressured or anything like that."

I grin, "It's totally cool, man."

I fall asleep a lot easier after that. Something about him kissing me just had a strange way of making me feel safe. Maybe it's because I know he's legitimately interested in me and that he really does care. I never doubted that I was in good hands but now I've never felt more sure.

I wake up relatively early the next morning, not seeing Thad anywhere. I sit up a little bit, feeling confident enough that I'll be alright to walk on my own. I walk slowly into the kitchen to see him sitting at the table with coffee and newspaper.

I smirk, watching him silently for a moment, "Morning." I greet, walking into the room.

He looks up at me, putting his paper down, "Hey, um, are you alright? Are you sure you can walk and stuff?"

I shrug, "I can't be bed-ridden for the rest of my life. Besides, I didn't even get shot in the leg."

He nods, watching me closely, "Fair enough. Take it easy, though. If you fall or anything you could get seriously hurt."

I roll my eyes, getting myself some coffee and taking a seat at the table with him, "Please, I'm not 80."

He puts his free on mind, "I'm serious, Jeff. As your doctor, take it easy."

I smirk, shaking my head, "Haha, whatever you say, doc."

He sighs, leaning back again, "I hope so."

"Have you seen Hunter today?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Yeah, he was in here a little while ago but he went back to bed," he explains, "He was getting it on with Sebastian last night so he didn't want him to wake up alone."

"So that's what all those noises were..." I mutter with a laugh.

He raises his eyebrows, "Yeah, haha, at least they're having a good time."

"True that," I agree, taking a sip of my coffee.

He gets up, putting his things away, "I actually have a class that I have to be at today, but call me if you need anything at all, okay?"

I nod, "Oh yeah, med student. I almost forgot."

He gives me a small smile, "Yep, actually when I think about it, I should probably get Sebastian outta here, too."

"You're both in college?" I ask plainly.

He nods, "Yeah, he's a couple grades behind me, but we go to the same school."

"Fair enough."

He jots his number down on a sheet of paper and heads into the other room to wake up Sebastian.

I sigh, thoughtlessly looking at the newspaper he was looking at. I know that I'm gonna have to get used to it, but I'm not crazy about the idea of being left alone here all day.


	10. Chapter 9

**Sebastian's P.O.V.**

I have to leave Hunter's place early on Monday and I don't get the opportunity to see him much all week. I waltz into the apartment late on Wednesday and toss my bag into the corner. Thad is curled up on the couch, flipping carelessly through a magazine.

I take a seat next to him, "What's up, dude?"

"Just got off the phone with Jeff," he answers casually, "God, am I worried about that kid..."

I raise an eyebrow, "Is he still at Hunter's?"

He nods, "Yeah, for now. He just doesn't get the concept of bed rest."

"He's a teenage boy, what do you expect?"

He sighs, "Ugh, I know. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you, do you mind if he moves in with us? He's got nowhere to go."

I look down at the floor, considering it, "I mean, I guess. I'm not crazy about it, but I don't think Hunter's gonna want him there forever..."

He looks over at me, "I'll keep him out of trouble, I promise."

I laugh, "It sounds like you're asking me if you can get a puppy."

"Haha, you know what I mean."

"I just had a thought," I mutter, sitting up a little bit, "It's probably not gonna happen, but..."

"What is it?"

"We should all get a place together. You, me, Hunter and Jeff."

He raises an eyebrow, "You think Hunter would want to?"

I shrug, "Maybe. I know it hasn't been that long, but we're really serious about each other. And he's already living with Jeff for the time being..."

He nods, "Yeah, I guess that sounds pretty cool. As long as you guys can keep it down at night, if you know what I mean."

I smirk, "Sometimes, but every now and again you and Jeff might just wanna go out for a while."

He pauses, a hint of a grin spreading across his face.

I look at over at him, "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, um, nothing..."

I roll my eyes, "Be real with me."

He sighs, "I'm thinking about Jeff."

"You have the hotts for him or something?"

"You could say that."

I grin, "Aw! That's so wicked adorable!"

He shakes his head, "Haha, yeah. I guess. We kissed the other night."

"Oooh," I reply, "Wow, why didn't you tell me before?"

He shrugs, "I dunno, it didn't come up, I guess."

"Fair enough," I reply, "You and Jeff, though, huh? Think he can make you a one man kind of man?"

He rolls his eyes, "I don't know, probably. If it can happen to you it could happen to me."

I smirk, "True."

"Random question," he begins, glancing up at me, "Do you miss sleeping around?"

"Not really," I answer honestly, "I feel like whatever I got out of that I get twice as much with Hunter."

"Ooh, well isn't that romantic?" he teases me.

"Haha, yeah," I reply, "But not as cute as you and Jeffie."

"There isn't really a 'me and _Jeff_'," he explains, "Not yet, anyway. I mean, we kissed once and admitted to liking each other, that doesn't make us a couple or anything."

I kick off my shoes, standing up, "No, but it makes you well on your way, for sure."

He gets up, too, walking over to the kitchen area and opening the fridge, "I hope so, but I don't want to assume anything too quickly, especially with a guy like him."

"What do you mean, 'a guy like him'?" I ask, pouring myself a glass of wine.

"He's just um, I don't know. I get the vibe that he's sensitive," he explains, tossing a frozen dinner in the microwave, "Or maybe not sensitive, just not as tough as he pretends to be..."

I sit down at the table, "I could see where that would be relevant, I don't know him all that well, though, so I guess that I can't really judge."

"Yeah," he mutters, leaning against the counter, "I think it's just that, everything I know about him all around, he can't be in much better shape mentally than he is physically, you know?"

I nod, "Makes enough sense."

He sighs, "I feel like he's got these walls up all the time. He pretends to act cool and okay, he talks like it's all good, but I don't buy it. I mean, there's no way that he's not hurting somewhere in there..."

I continue nodding, just letting him say what's on his mind.

He takes his food out of the microwave and pulls the plastic wrap off it, "You want something to eat?"

I shake my head, "Nawh, I'm alright."

He rolls his eyes, "Sebastian, you're not like a celebrity housewife, okay? A glass of wine doesn't qualify as a meal."

"Just trying to stay slim," I reply with a smirk, "Gotta be super hot for Hunter."

"If you lose any more weight you'll be weird-looking." he explains, emptying half of his food into a bowl and putting it on the table in front of me.

"I don't want to take your food," I argue.

He sits down across from me, "It was a two portion container, I don't need all of it, anyway."

I pick up my fork and play with my food a little bit, "Yeah, I guess."

He shakes his head at me, starting to eat, "Seriously, 'Bas, I think that Hunter likes you the way you are, and probably isn't interested in his boyfriend weighing 90 pounds. Eat your damn supper."

I eat a few bites, just trying to appease him, "Happy?"

"I'm just saying that for your own good, dude. It's not like I'm your mother."

I smirk, "Haha, sure."

We both finish our dinner and get ready for bed. I change into my pajamas and lie down, taking out my phone to call Hunter.

It rings a few times before he picks up.

"Hello?" I hear him answer, sounding a little bit worn.

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey, babe, what's up?"

"I'm mostly calling to say goodnight, but I had a question I wanted you to think about."

"Okay, shoot." he replies.

"Me and Thad were throwing the idea of you and Jeff moving in with us around."

He pauses for a moment, "Like, in your apartment?"

"Well, maybe we can all get a bigger one together," I explain, "If you want."

"Um, yeah, sure, maybe." He answers, thought in his voice.

"Okay, cool," I reply, "I guess that's pretty much it. I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing."

"Alrighty, goodnight babe."

I smile, "Goodnight, Hunt, I love you."

"Love you too."

I hang up and turn off my phone, setting in on my nightstand. I wrap myself up in my blankets, hoping that Hunter agrees with my idea. I feel like if Jeff's moving in, he might as well. After all, I don't like the idea of him living alone anyway.


	11. Chapter 10

**Jeff's P.O.V.**

I'm half asleep on the couch when Hunter comes in sometime after midnight. I wake up a little bit and look over at him, "Hey." I mumble, sitting up, "What's up?"

He sighs, tossing his off. He looks stressed out, worn and far from happy, "Nothing." he answers, walking into his bedroom.

I frown, getting up and following him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I persist, a little worried.

"Yes!" he snaps, "Just get out my face!"

"Sorry." I nearly whisper, walking back into the other room. This definitely isn't the first time Hunter's been like this, but it doesn't bother me any less.

I curl back up on the couch and put the tv on quietly. The news is on, with another troubling report of someone being stabbed to death. I sigh, trying not to get too invested in it. I glance back in Hunter's direction, heavy hearted.

He walks by an hour or so later, dressed down in just his underwear and a pair of socks. He takes a seat on the recliner and looks over at me, "What's up?"

I shrug meekly, "Nothing."

He sighs, leaning forwards, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I answer plainly.

He rolls his eyes irritably, "How's your injury? Are you in a lot of pain? Are you alright?"

I sit up, "Look, Hunter, don't feel so obligated to take care of me, okay? If I'm just a pain in your ass, feel free to send me packing. I know you don't really want me here."

He sighs, his voice softening, "Look, Jeff, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be short with you, I've just had a rough night. It's not that I don't want you here, honest, it's no trouble at all."

I nod, still somewhat downcast, "It's alright. I get it."

"Okay," he mutters, his mind drifting for a moment. "Hey, um, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?" I ask, curious.

"Sebastian called me earlier. And I mean, nothing's really definite, but he and Thad were wondering if we all might want to move in together, you know, the four of us." He explains, a neutral expression on his face.

I nod, "Um, yeah, that'd be pretty cool. I don't have a job right now, though."

He shrugs it off, "That's alright. You tag along with me soon enough."

I bite my lip nervously, "Yeah...Um, I don't know if I really want to do that kind of stuff anymore."

He shakes his head, "You can't just give up on it. And it only sucks because you're still a newbie, no doubt. People will respect you more the longer you hang around."

I sigh, "Yeah, maybe."

"Seriously," he says sternly, "It's dangerous out there. And if you leave your gang, they'll probably kill you. Join a new one and we're got your back."

"Yeah, um, you're right..." I agree unenthusiastically.

He gives me a smile small, rustling my hair a little, "Good. Relax, kiddo, you'll be fine."

I fake a smile, "Yeah, absolutely."

Truth be told, I don't feel reassured at all. I know he's probably right, but I'd much rather just move away. Hell, my old gang thinks that I'm dead anyway. As long as I don't accidentally cross paths with anyone, I should be fine. But I can't tell Hunter that, and I'm a little afraid of how he'd react if I did. He'll find out eventually, that or I'll just cave and join up with him like he wants me to.

"So what do you think about the whole apartment idea?" he asks, changing the subject.

I smile, "Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. Thad actually offered if I wanted to live with him and Sebastian, so that sounds great."

He nods, "Honestly, I was kind of on the fence about it, but I guess it's not a bad idea if you're all really into it. I'm barely home anyway but I get the vibe that 'Bas doesn't like sleeping alone all that much."

"I'm not surprised." I reply casually, "I know how that is."

He raises his eyebrows, "You want someone to sleep with?"

"I guess that's not what I meant."

He rests his hand on my thigh, "You can come into my bed if you want, you know."

"You think Sebastian would mind?"

He shakes his head, "Nawh, it's not like we're gonna do it."

"Sure," I mutter, getting up off the couch.

We both climb into his bed, and I lie down. I puts his arm around me, a small smile on his lips. I smile back, though feeling guilty about being in bed with someone else's boyfriend. As the night moves along, we drift closer to each other. Before I know it, we're completely up against each other, his arms wrapped tightly around me and my leg resting on his.

Half asleep, he pulls me into a small kiss. I kiss him back, enjoying the warmth and comfort. His hands drift down to my hips as the kiss intensifies. He opens up my mouth with his tongue, exploring the insides of my lips. I'm licking his tongue in a second and he nibbles on mine playfully. Before I know it, we're full-blown making out and I pull away abruptly.

He freezes, keeping one hand on me. I sit up, unsure of what to do, "Oh my god, Hunter, I, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

He sighs, pulling me back down beside him, "You were thinking that you're being kissed by a really hot guy that you're snuggled up with. I can't blame you for kissing me back. I know it was wrong, but stay with me for the night."

I stare at him, "Wait, what do you mean?"

He pulls me closer to him, "Just stay in bed with me. I won't make a move on you again, I'm sorry I did that. Just sleep here tonight, Sebastian doesn't have to know. Nobody does."

I nod nervously, "Yeah, I guess." I lean my head on his chest and try and forget about what just happened.

I have trouble sleeping that night for obvious reasons. I don't want to admit to myself that I actually like Hunter, mostly because he has a boyfriend and Thad and I are interested in each other, too. Nothing good will come of it, I know that for sure. But still, I can't kick the feeling. Especially now, still lying in his bed under his arm. Even though we're just lying here, I still feel like the other man. I try not to think about how Sebastian would feel if he ever found out. I try to forget about the feeling I have just knowing that I'll have to hide this from him. There's a painful knot in my stomach that tells me having the four of us live together might not be such a good thing after all. I close my eyes, praying that when I wake up this all would have been just a dream.


	12. Chapter 11

Sebastian's P.O.V.

I'm out a club with Thad when I get a call from Hunter later that week on Friday night. I walk outside one of the back doors before I answer. He's probably about to hang up when I finally get there,

"Hey, Hunter, what's up?"

"Nothing much," he replies, "Are you home?"

"Um, no," I answer, "I'm out with Thad. Why?"

"Oh. Where are you guys?"

"Just at a club downtown, are you at home?"

"Yeah," he sounds displeased, "What are you doing clubbing anyway? Don't you have homework or something to do?"

I sigh, "It's Friday night, babe. And we're getting some drinks and hanging out. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, whatever." he mutters, not convinced, "For future reference, I don't want you doing stuff like that without telling me, okay? Especially if you're going to be drinking, I know how you get..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, offended.

"It is what it is. Just, promise you won't pull this again?"

"Pull what? I'm not doing anything wrong." I argue, starting to get frustrated.

"Sebastian," he says sternly, "I'm your boyfriend, if I don't want you getting drunk with a bunch of strangers and creeps, you're not going to do it, understood?"

"But, Hunter, I-"

"Understood?" he repeats.

"Fine," I reply, "Whatever you say."

"Good," he mutters, hos voice softening, "Anyway, I was calling you about that apartment idea you had. Jeff likes the idea, so I guess it's a deal. Are you guys busy on Monday?"

"Thad and I get out of class around four, does that work?" I ask, still a little upset about our last conversation.

"Um, yeah, that should be fine," he answers, "We'll pick you guys up at say 4:30 to look at apartments."

"Yeah, sure." I reply, "Well, I gotta go, I'll call you before I go to sleep."

"Okay, stay out of trouble."

"Kay. Bye."

"Bye."

I hang up my phone, frustrated. I love Hunter to death, but he can be really controlling sometimes. If I want to go out with some friends every now and again, I feel like I should have the right to do that. But at the same time, I feel I can't really argue with him. He's temperamental and always right, I don't have much choice but to agree with him most of the time.

Thad walks out of the club with Nick, one of our friends, "What's up dude?" he asks.

I sigh, "Nothing. Hunter called and he's just being a pain in the ass."

"Hunter's your new boyfriend, right?" Nick asks.

I nod, frowning slightly, "Yeah."

Thad pets me on the shoulder, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." I lie, not really wanting to talk about it.

Nick sighs, "Well that doesn't sound very honest. Come on, dude, what's going on?"

"Hunter just doesn't want me going out and stuff, that's all." I answer.

"Like clubbing and stuff?" Thad asks.

I nod, "Yeah. I told him I was just hanging out with you guys, but he didn't seem to care."

Nick gives me a worried look, "Sounds a little psycho to me. How long have you even been together?"

"Not long enough." I comment with a grimace.

Thad gives me a small smile, "Come on, dude. Let's head back in and forget about Hunter."

"I'd better not," I reply, "Forgetting about Hunter is the equivalent of getting too drunk and cheating on him. Not such a good idea."

Nick grabs my arm, "Come on, man. I'll keep you out of trouble. Just come back inside and try and relax."

"Fine," I reply reluctantly, letting them drag me back into the club.

When we go back in, I feel guilty just being there. Even though I had disagreed with what Hunter had said, I still told him that I would do it. I sigh, sipping on a beer and leaning against the wall. I just can't seem to get it together with him. I'm either obsessing over his every move or wallowing in how difficult it is to be with him. I feel like there's no right answer and it's killing.

My train of thought is stopped when I see someone approaching me. He's pretty good looking, probably in his late twenties, brown hair blue eyes and a killer smile. "Hey," he greets me, "What's a knock out like you doing alone against a wall?"

I smirk, "Killing some time I guess.?

He puts his hand on my shoulder, "Well I can think of a few better ways of doing that. Dance with me."

I shake my head, frowning a little, "I would if I could but I can't."

He raises an eyebrow, "And why is that?"

I sigh, "My boyfriend. He's pissed off at me enough just because I'm here. I don't want to feed the fire."

He rolls his eyes, "Well he must not be a very good boyfriend, then, huh? The least he could do is be here with you."

I shrug, "Yeah, maybe. But either way, I can't."

He moves his hand from my shoulder and strokes my cheek, "You are way too pretty to be tied up, you know... Besides, your boyfriend isn't gonna find out, anyway. I'd sure as hell take you home if I could, but I'm just asking you to dance with me."

I give him a fake smile, "I'm not really in a dancing mood, thanks anyway."

"Well maybe you would be once you started," he continues, "Your drink's almost empty, let me get you another one."

"Don't," I reply right before he walks away, "I've had more than enough as it is. A couple more and I actually would let you take me home."

"All the more reason," he says with a wink, walking towards the bar.

I toss my bottle in a trash bin, not sure where to go. My instinct is telling me to just run off and go home, but truth be told, I don't really want to. All that would happen if I did that would I be I just lie awake for three hours over thinking everything that's wrong in my life. I sigh, wandering around but not going far.

A few minutes later the guy I was just talking to approaches me, handing me a drink, "Hey, there you are."

I look over at him, "Hey."

He smirks, "I was afraid you'd run out on me or something." he says with a laugh.

"Nawh," I comment, "I thought about it, but I guess I changed my mind."

He grins, "Well I'm glad you had a change of heart."

"I guess," I reply thoughtless, downing half my drink at once.

"Rough night?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

I nod, finishing the rest of it, "Yeah pretty much."

He leads me to the dance floor, but I get brutally dizzy half way there.

"Hey, um," I mutter, "I don't, I don't feel so good all of a sudden. Can we go sit down somewhere?"

"Sure thing," he replies, putting his arm around me for support.

He takes me outside and sits me down on the steps but I don't feel any better. My mind is spinning and my vision is blurry. My head feels like it's about to hit the pavement.

I look up at him, "I, I think I'm getting sick or something."

He pets me on the back and before I know it, I'm losing consciousness.


	13. Chapter 12

I wake up in some kind of alleyway, curled up in a ball and in all kinds of pain. I feel sick to my stomach as I try to get to my feet, fumbling around for my phone. Thankfully, I still have it. I check the time, 2:37 P.M. I sigh, putting my phone back in my pocket. I guess missing class is the least of my problems right now. I have a good idea what happened, but I don't know for sure. I'm more concerned what to tell everyone. I hope that Thad didn't call Hunter and that he never finds out about this.

I walk out onto the street, brushing dirt off my clothes. I don't think I'm too far from home, but I still don't have a clue where I am. I don't what to do. Should I call Thad? Should I tell him the truth or make up some lame story? I sigh, trying to get myself together as I walk down the street, oblivious as to whether I'm going the right way or not.

I check my phone again. 7 missed calls, 3 from Hunter, 2 from Nick, 2 from Thad. I call Hunter reluctantly, he should at least know that I'm alright.

He picks up on the first ring, "Hey, Sebastian, where are you?"

I sigh, "I'm um, out, why?"

"I tried calling you like a million times. I talked to Thad and he said he didn't know where you were."

I'm grateful that his tone sounds more worried than angry at this point.

"Oh, um, sorry, I um, left Nick and Thad at the club and went home early."

"But Thad said you weren't home."

"Well, I did, but then I got lonely and called up an old friend. I spent the night at his place, I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be alone."

"What friend? Why didn't you call me?" now he's starting to sound angry.

"Just um, my friend Trent. You don't know him, and I didn't call you because I thought you were upset with me and I wasn't in the mood to argue."

"Hmph, well next time call me instead, okay? I won't get mad at you." he replies, sounding seriously displeased.

"Okay."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm still at Trent's."

"Can I come pick you up?"

"Um, maybe," I reply, "Can I call you back?"

"Fine. But make it quick."

"Kay."

I quickly hang up and call Trent in a panic. To be honest, I haven't spoken to Trent in months, but that's just what came out. He's a nice person, I'm sure he'd help me out.

He picks up after a few rings, "Hello?"

"Hey, Trent. It's Sebastian. This is probably weird, but I need a favor."

"Um, sure," he replies, confused.

"Okay. It's kind of a long story, but can you come pick me up?"

"Uh, yeah. Where are you? What's going on?"

I glance up at the street signs, "I'm on the corner of Franklin and Highland, do you know where that is? I'll explain in the car."

"Sure, um, yeah, I have a GPS."

"Thank you so so much. I really owe you."

"No problem, I'll be there soon."

I hang up and call Hunter, running up to the corner, "Hey, Hunt. It's me. I was just gonna have lunch and stuff then you can come and get me. I'll text you the address in a minute."

"Sure." he replies, "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah. Bye."

As I'm waiting for Trent, it all hits me. I want to cry. I feel like I might puke. My whole body hurts. I feel like an idiot for taking that drink for that guy. I should've just listened to my gut and left while I had the chance. Whatever happened to me last night was all my own fault. There aren't words for how angry I am with myself, but that doesn't help ease any of the pain. I feel like I don't have the right to feel bad for myself, but I'm just hurting so bad.

Before I know it, Trent's pulled over next to me in his cute little red mini cooper. I let out a sigh of relief, getting into the car. He looks at me with concern, "Hey. It's great to see you. You don't so look so good, though. Are you alright?"

I bite my lip, shaking my head. I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I do my best to choke it all down, "Thank you so much. You're literally a life saver."

He nods solemnly, pulling back onto the road, "Do you want me to take you to your house or mine?"

I face palm for a moment, "Well, I had to lie to my boyfriend about where I was last night, and so I told him I was with you, so I told him he could pick me up at your place?" I feel guilty asking, but I don't have much choice.

"Yeah, sure, I'll get you cleaned up," he replies, "Do you mind if I ask you where you really were?"

I sigh, "I guess not. I own you that much." I explain the whole story to him, working even harder to keep from crying.

He puts a comforting hand on my arm, "I'm so sorry, Sebastian. Are you alright?"

"Of course," I lie, "I'm bulletproof, remember?"

He frowns a little, "Nobody's actually bulletproof. You can tell me if you're hurting, it's okay..."

I sigh, "Yeah, you're right. It hurts like a bitch. And I mean everything. Inside and out. But it's my own fault, so I shouldn't complain."

He shakes his head, "No way. Whatever more than likely happened to you last night, it's not your fault at all. Don't blame yourself."

"How can I not, though? I just should have listened to my boyfriend..."

"You didn't know that would happen." he consoles me.

We get back to his house and he lets me shower, giving me clean clothes to wear. I keep myself from breaking down and make sure I have my wits about me before texting Hunter the address.

Trent sits with me on the front porch while I wait as we catch up quietly amoungst ourselves.

Hunter gets there pretty quickly and I wave goodbye to Trent and get in the car.

He looks over at me, and without as much as even saying hello, "Your eyes are bloodshot, what's going on?"

I sigh, feeling like a clam hiding inside it's shell, "Nothing. I just didn't sleep much last night."

He raises an eyebrow, "Is that all? You just don't look very well."

I shake my head, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He drives down the street, clearly not buying a word of it. He's quiet for a few minutes, but I can tell by the look on his face that this isn't over.

He pulls up in front of my house and pauses for a moment, "Are you gonna tell me the truth or what?"

"I did," I reply, frustrated, "I told you I was with Trent. What's the big deal?"

He glares over at me, "Don't try to fucking lie to me. I know there's something going. It's way too convenient that you're out a club and no one hears a thing from you til 3 o'clock the next day. I swear to god, if you were seeing anyone, sleeping with someone, I'll kill them first and ask questions later. I wouldn't want to be you, either. Got it?"

I can see it in his eyes that's he's not messing around. There's a knot in my stomach. I want to tell him that's crazy and he can't threaten me like that. But I'm too scared to say much of anything. I nod, a lump growing in my throat, "Got it."

He gives me a kiss goodbye and I scurry out of the car and into my house.


	14. Chapter 13

I walk into the house, shaken up and upset. I look around, not wanting to be alone, "Thad, are you home?" I call, looking for him. He's not home, so I get dressed and text Nick, _'Hey, sorry I disappeared on you guys last night. Is there any chance you want to come over?' _I sigh, putting my phone down and hoping for a response. I should've just stayed with Trent while I had the chance. He's one of the empathetic people I'd ever met, and he knew what was going on.

Thankfully, Nick responds after not very long, '_I take it you skipped school?'_

I frown, wanting to keep him in the dark as much as possible right now, _'Yeah. No, wait, it's Saturday. I totally forgot about that, Thad's not home, though. But can you stop by?'_

_'I guess so. I just got out of work so I gotta change but I'll be right over.'_

_'Thank you.'_

I put my phone away and take my shoes off again, not wanting to leave the house again any time soon. I can't help but worry about what Nick's thinking right now. And I can't be sure on whether or not to tell him the truth or tell him what I told Hunter. I hated lying to Hunter, but it was bad enough telling him that much. And now he can never know, it would be twice as bad because I lied about it. My best bet is probably just go along with what I told to Hunter. The less people that know the truth the less likely Hunter will ever find out. The only person who's ever gonna know is Trent, who I can trust. He doesn't know Hunter anyway and I know he'd never betray me.

Nick shows up maybe a half hour or so later, a slightly worried expression on his face, "Hey, Bas." he greets me as I let him in.

I force a smile, "Hey, Nicky."

We both casually sit down on the couch and he faces towards me, "So what happened last night? Sorry that I lost track of you."

"Nothing really," I reply, "My friend Trent called me up and I went to his place for the night. I felt guilty being at the club after talking to Hunter. I was gonna let you guys know but I couldn't find you. Didn't think it'd be a big deal."

"I guess not," he reluctantly agrees, "Thad was worried about you, though. Your boyfriend called him and texted him a bunch of times about you. He must have been freaking out a little."

I shake my head, not wanting to think about Hunter right now, "He's fine. I talked to him earlier, he picked me up from Trent's, actually."

"Fair enough," he comments, raising his eyebrows, "I have a bad idea about that guy, honestly, Sebastian. I mean, I've never met him, I know, but the little I know of him isn't very good."

"He can be a pain sometimes, but it's no big deal. Let's not talk about him, what about you? You guys doing anything crazy after I left?" I don't want to think about the club, either, but anything's better than Hunter right now.

He gives me a seriously concerned look for a moment, but eventually lets it go, "Not really. Thad almost went home with some guy, he was pretty drunk. But I remembered that he told me about that Jeff kid he was into, so I steered him away and put him to bed."

"Yeah..." I mutter, a painful feeling in my stomach.

Thad comes in shortly after, "Hey, guys." he smirks at me, "Nice to see you in one piece, where'd you disappear to?"

I tell Thad what I told Nick and he buys every word, not thinking anything of it.

"Where were you?" I ask after my story is done.

"Just ran some errands. I got some ice cream if you're interested."

"Normally I would say I can't, but today I don't really care. You guys wanna make some sundaes and watch some TV or something?"

They both nod casually and we go into the kitchen. We all build ourselves ice cream sundaes and I head back to couch a minute before they do. I hear them whispering something, so I listen closely,

"Is he okay?" Nick asks, "I mean, when was the last time Sebastian wanted to eat ice cream and watch TV?"

Thad frowns, "I think it has something to do with Hunter. Don't tell Bas I told you this, but I stopped by Hunter's to see Jeff and he was acting like a huge jerk, honestly I'm kind of worried about Jeff being alone with him and-"

"What did he say?" I ask from the couch even though I know they didn't want me hearing their conversation.

"Shit," Thad whispers and then turns to me, "Nothing much. He was just in a bad mood. Hey, did you guys get in a fight or something? You both seem off..."

I nod as they both join me on the couch, "Yeah, he was pissed off at me for last night. He doesn't like me going out when he doesn't know about it, etc. etc."

Nick shakes his head, "I'm telling you, dude, you shouldn't be with a guy like that. He's already stressing you way out, you don't need that right now."

I shrug, taking a bite of my ice cream, "Ugh, whatever with Hunter. I don't want to think about it." I turn Netflix on.

We decide on Breaking Bad and we all try and pretend that it's all okay, avoiding the subject of Hunter and last night altogether.

A few hours later Thad wants to see so Nick and I hesitantly go with him. I don't want to talk to Hunter right now, but I can't make Thad go alone.

He knocks on the door and we all sigh in relief when it's Jeff that opens it.

"Hey guys." he says with a weak smile.

"Hey, Jeff," Thad responds, beaming back at him, "I came by to see you earlier but Hunter said you weren't around. You want to come over my place and hang out with us?"

Jeff sighs, "I um, I can't. I'm sorry, I wish I could..."

Thad frowns, "How come? What's going on?"

Jeff shakes his head, "It's just that I promised Hunter I'd help him out with some stuff."

Thad and I exchange worried glances and I ask instantly, "What kind of stuff?"

"Nothing major. Don't worry about it. I'll see you guys later, okay?" he replies, starting to close the door.

"Wait!" Thad says before he closes it completely, "I'm worried about you. Why haven't you called me? Are you okay?"

Jeff sighs, "I'm fine, Thad, if you're gonna be up late maybe I'll call you."

He nods with a sad look on his face, "Fair enough."

We head back to our place, downcast. Nick tries to console us both, but it's mostly a lost cause. He ends up going home after not too long and leaving Thad and I to fester in our own misery.


	15. Chapter 14

By the time Monday rolls around, Thad and I aren't in any shape to be apartment with our significant others. Jeff never called Thad on Saturday, and we didn't speak a word to them for the rest of the weekend. But nevertheless, the date was set. Sure, we could call it off, but I don't want to make things worse with Hunter and Thad is afraid of losing Jeff altogether. Though in all honesty, we would be just fine if they never showed.

Nevertheless, Hunter shows up in his Jeep in front of our apartment building with Jeff at 4:30 sharp. We walk outside to meet them, Jeff offers to let me have the front seat to sit with Hunter, but I refuse it. We drive completely silently for a good ten minutes before Hunter finally speaks up,  
"So, I was looking at apartments online and I saw some relatively cheap ones down town, I was going to head there first."

"Sounds good," Thad replies, trying to clear up a little of the awkwardness.

Hunter glances at me through the rear view mirror, "You alright, Sebastian?"

"Yeah, of course." I answer without any thought, "So, um, how was your weekend?"

He and Jeff exchange exasperated looks. "It was okay," he replies after a moment, "Yours?"

"Fine, thanks." I lie, not wanting to discuss anything about my weekend.

"How was class today?"

"Not bad."

He rolls his eyes at my vagueness, not wanting to bother it any further.

We pull up to the apartment complex and we all get out of the car. Thad looks at Jeff, a little concerned, "Are you gonna be okay to walk around all day?"

Jeff shrugs it off, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

We walk inside and I can't help but notice Thad standing right near Jeff, ready to catch him at any second. I look over at Hunter who looks like he's in a hint of a bad mood."Hey, Hunter, can I talk to you for a second?"

He sighs, "Yeah, sure."

We fall behind as Jeff and Thad head into the office. I sigh, eyes on the floor, "We left things on the wrong note the other day. It's been bugging me like crazy. I can't even sleep. I just want you to know that I really am sorry about the other night. You were totally right." Before I can stop them, there's tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Whoa, whoa, hey," he mutters, pulling me into his arms, "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to make you so upset. I was only saying that for your own good. I just, wouldn't want to see anything happen to you. You know how people are..."

I nod, "I know, I know. That's why I'm so sorry." I choke back more tears, leaning my head on his chest.

He strokes my hair, "It's okay, babe. It's all okay. You don't have to think about it anymore." he consoles me for a moment so I can calm down before we join back with the others.

As we browse apartments, I feel somewhat better. I feel better knowing that we're okay again, but I still don't have piece of mind. I still can't shake the fact that I'm lying to him, but at the same time I know I can never tell. It's exhausting.

The longer we look around, the easier things become. After not long all four of us are talking again, and for a short moment, it feels like nothing ever even happened.

"What do you guys think of this one?" Hunter asks, leaving Jeff talking to the saleswoman in the next room. Thad and I follow him and look around. It's practically perfect. It's nice, but still has a homey feel to it. There's an incredible view of the city outside and roomy bedrooms. I walk over to Hunter, looking out the windows, "I love it," I reply, reaching for his hand.

He grins, holding my hand, "I thought so, too." he sighs, enjoying the view, "Is the location okay? To get to school in stuff? I know it's a little further into the city, if that's okay. It's a better neighborhood, though."

I nod, "Yeah, it's a little closer, actually. It's totally great. We have to get this one."

He kisses me on the head, "Yeah..."

Thad walks over to us, "Hey, have you guys seen Jeff?"

Hunter glances over his shoulder at Thad, "Yeah, he's with the saleswoman talking about couches or something, I don't know. But he's fine. What do you think of the apartment?"

Thad looks around, "It's nice. I don't think we'll be able to afford it, though."

Hunter shakes his head, "Sure we can, between the four of us? And I make pretty good money."

Thad frowns a little bit, "Yeah, but Sebastian and I barely work part time. And Jeff doesn't even have a job at all right now."

"Jeff's gonna work with me when he's back in commission, don't worry about it."

Thad doesn't look reassured at all, but goes along with it for the time being, "Sure."

We let the saleswoman know that we're going to be getting it without even letting Jeff get a look at it. We're pretty confident that he'll like it, though.

We all head to Thad and I's place for the night. I'm grateful to be able to sleep with Hunter tonight, even if all we do is cuddle and watch movies. Thad seems more than happy to have Jeff to himself, and I cross my fingers for them in the next room.

Before we know it, it's moving day. We're all pretty much on our own because we all have our own things to take care of and can't help anyone else out. Except Jeff, but Thad won't let him lift much anyway so he just stays at Hunter's.

It's a long grueling process, you never know how much stuff you actually own until you have to pack it all up. At first I'm careful to make sure everything is clean and folded but after I while I give up and shove it all wherever it'll fit. Thad ends up giving me a hand towards the end, not having nearly as much clothes as I do. But by the end of a long, hard day, it's ready to go.

We met up with Hunter and Jeff at the new apartment, who get there long before we do. They help us unload the car and we all pass out wherever.


	16. Chapter 15

I wake up the next morning in Hunter's arms, cuddled up on the sofa. I look over at him and he's already awake, watching the sunrise out of the massive window in the main room. I kiss him lightly, moving a little closer, "Good morning, babe."

He kisses me back, "Morning, sweetie."

I sigh happily, looking out the window, "You were totally right. This place is great."

"It is," he replies, "It could use some house warming, though." He smirks, putting his hands under my shirt and rubbing up and down my body.

I grin, "Are Jeff and Thad awake?"

He nods, "Yeah, but they went out to get some breakfast. Don't know where they went, but I think we have some time."

"Hmm...okay!" I say with a laugh, taking my shirt off and tossing it on the floor. He strips himself down to his bare skin, then tugs my pants off. I giggle a little bit as he climbs on top of me, licking the part between my lips. I open my mouth up, pulling his tongue inside it. I reach my hand down his cock, doing my best to stroke it from the position we're in. He bites my tongue a little, raising his eyebrows.

I smile as he pulls his mouth off mine, licking his fingers suggestively and slipping one into my ass. I let out a muffled sigh of pleasure, grabbing the back of his head and pulling his mouth back onto mine.

We both jump out of our skin when the front door opens, Thad and Jeff walking in with a paper bag and a tray of coffees. Hunter frantically grabs a blanket and throws it over us. "Hey guys," he says casually, pretending we weren't doing anything. I groan in frustration, sinking down til I'm flat on the couch.

Jeff raises his eyebrows, "I hope we're not interrupting anything..."

Thad smirks, "Well whenever you're done, I got some muffin sandwiches and coffee. Better be quick so they don't get cold."

Hunter sighs, carefully slipping his boxers back on and getting up, "Damn, are we that obvious?"

Thad nods, "Oh yeah. For sure, the grunting totally gave it away."

"I wasn't grunting..." Hunter replies, narrowing his eyes.

"You both were."

I wrap myself in the blanket, picking up my clothes and walk out of the room, not even looking at Hunter.

I go into our bedroom and quickly get dressed, combing my hair and pretending that nothing was happening. I walk back out, grabbing my coffee and sitting down at the table. Hunter sits down next to me, "Why'd you bother getting dressed?"

"Because," I reply in a stern tone, "There's no reason not to..."

"I thought we were gonna, you know, do it?"

"So did I, but clearly that's not gonna happen."

He looks frustrated, "Why not?"

"If you wanted to have sex you should have just asked them to leave the room or something for a minute. I don't wanna do it after you got up and walked away."

He rolls his eyes, irritated, "You're so damn temperamental."

"Kinda like you." I retort, taking another sip of coffee.

He looks borderline angry, eating his sandwich without as much as looking at me again.

I rest my head on his shoulder, not wanting to fight with him yet again, "Can we do it tonight?"

"Maybe," he mutters, not paying that much attention to me.

Thad looks around at all of us, "Well, I have to work today, so I'll catch you all later?"

Jeff nods, pulling him into a hug, "Alright. Have a good day."

I look over at him, "Alrighty, I'll see you later."

Hunter nods to him, still chewing his food.

Jeff sits down with us after he leaves, "Looks like it's just the three of us for a bit, huh?"

Hunter shakes his head, "Nope, I've got stuff to do today, actually you should come if you feel up to it."

Jeff nods, "Yeah, alright."

I frown, "So you guys are going to leave me here alone all day?"

Hunter narrows his eyebrows, "Don't you have class today?"

I sigh, "Yeah, but not til noon."

He stands up, tossing his wrapper and empty cup in the trash, "I would think you'd be used to being alone for a few hours. You'll be fine."

Hunter and Jeff head out sometime around nine and I take a long shower and unpack a little, killing as much time as possible.

I only have a couple of classes but I can't seem to focus. But for once it's not Hunter I'm worrying about, it's Jeff. I remember Thad told me that Jeff didn't want to get back into gangs and stuff, and I'm getting the vibe that Hunter pressured him into it. I'm not sure how long he's been back, but I can only hope that Hunter is keeping him safe.

When I finally get out of school I take the local bus home, not having Thad to carpool with today. I sit down near the back and look thoughtlessly out the window. I glance over when the bus stops again and more passengers get on. My heart nearly stops when I see the guy from the club get on. I never got his name but I recognized him instantly. At first I want to hide my face and hope he doesn't see me, but I feel the need to talk to him. I doubt I'll get any answers, but I have to try while I have the chance. I make eye contact with him and smile, acting totally clueless.

He smiles back at me and sits down in the spot next to me. "Hey," I greet him cheerfully, "Weird that we're running into each other again, how've you been?"

He gives me a prince charming smile, "I've been, um, good, how about you?" There's a hint of nervousness in his voice and I'm pretty sure as to why.

"Good, I didn't think I'd get the chance to say this, but I'm sorry about totally fainting or whatever I did at the club. I didn't realize how far gone I was."

He raises an eyebrow, "Oh, um, it's cool, no problem. Sorry you weren't feeling well."

I smirk, "Too much liquor can do that anybody."

He nods,"Haha, for sure. I felt kinda bad leaving you the way that I did, but something came up and I had to go."

I raise an eyebrow, "Where'd you leave me?"

He looks puzzled for a moment, "Where'd you wake up?"

"At my friend's house."

"Oh, good," he says with a sigh, and then changes the subject, avoiding the question, "So, um, I take it you weren't actually sick?"

I shake my head, "No, I guess not."

I sit up when the bus stops again, "Well, this is me. Can I get your number?"

He raises his eyebrows, "What about that boyfriend of yours?"

I roll my eyes, "Forget him."

He jots his number on a scrap of paper in his pocket and hands it to me with a grin.

"Oh, and I never got your name."

He smiles, "Oh, um, Anderson."

I smile and nod, heading off the bus, "I'll catch you later."

I walk down the street and up to the apartment building, trying to figure out where to go from here. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to learn from him, I have a good idea what happened and being involved with him at all could be dangerous. I guess I just need peace of mind.


	17. Chapter 16

I walk back into the house to see Thad and Hunter wrestling in the floor and Jeff perched up on the couch eating popcorn. I sit down next to Jeff, not sure how to feel about this. I look over at him, "Please tell me they're not actually fighting..."

"They're not," he answers plainly, "Not really. Hunter question's Thad's manhood and they've been going at it ever since."

"How long ago was that?"

"Eh, maybe twenty minutes ago?"

I shake my head in disbelief, "And you're not concerned about this?"

He shrugs, "Not really. No one's bleeding. Honestly I thought Hunter was gonna kick Thad's ass but he puts up a pretty good fight."

I smirk, ideas popping into my head. I get up, taking off my shoes and jacket and pounce on top of them.

"Hey, Bas, what the hell are you doing?" Hunter grunts, pushing me off.

I sit up a little bit, frowning, "What's the matter, afraid I'll kick your ass?"

He shakes his head, pinning Thad down, "I think I'm more afraid that you'd get killed, actually."

I frown, "I'm tougher than I look."

"That's not saying much," he says from under a headlock, "Go sit with Jeff."

"Fine," I answer, a hint of disappointment in my voice, "But if anything gets broken, and I'm talking about the furniture, not your bones, you'll both be dead."

I get up and walk into my bedroom, my mind still on Anderson. I look at this slip of paper with his number on it and I put it into my phone. I quickly throw it away afterwards, not wanting Hunter to possibly see it and start asking questions. I sit down on my bed and text him, '_Hey, just making sure this is a real number. ;)'_

_'Yeah it is, haha, this is Sebastian, right?'_

_'Um...yeah, I don't remember giving you my name though.'_

_'You were pretty drunk at the time, you probably just don't remember.'_

I furrow my eyebrows, not sure if he's telling the truth or not. I shrug it off seeing as there isn't much I can do about it, _'Oh, haha, yeah, probably.'_

I sigh, putting my phone away and walking back into the main room. Hunter and Thad are finally off each other, but of them sweaty and panting a little. I walk over to Hunter, giving him a sexy kiss on the cheek, my hands on his chest, "You won, right?"

He smirks, pecking me on the lips, "It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, but yeah, I won."

I run a hand through his hair and walk into the kitchen, tossing water bottles to him and Thad, "You might want those," I comment, then getting one for myself.

Thad walks over to me before I go back towards the others, "Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure," I answer, walking outside with him.

He sighs, closing the door, "I feel stupid asking this, but how can I get Jeff to want me? You know, not just sorta like me? We've been totally stopped in our tracks for weeks and I can't stand it."

"Be sexy," I explain, "Act like he already does. Try kissing him again. One major thing, don't be so afraid of his innocent little boy feelings. Make him feel like you want him. Don't hold anything back. Just got for it, dude."

He nods and we both walk back inside. I take a seat on Hunter's lap and kiss him, trying to provoke Thad to make a move on Jeff. Jeff's just sitting still in his seat, legs crossed and arms folded. I watch Thad closely as he takes a seat next to Jeff, resting a hand on his arm. Jeff smiles at him a little, but that's pretty much. Thad turns to me and I raise my eyebrows, nudging towards my mouth.

He puts his arm around Jeff and pecks him on the cheek. Jeff's face immediately brightens up and he returns the subtle kiss, snuggling up against Thad's side. Thad shoots me a grin, and I just smirk to myself, feeling proud.

"Well aren't you guys just the cutest couple ever?" Hunter comments, "Does this mean you actually might do it?"

Thad raises his eyebrows, "You never know."

Jeff, on the other hand, looks uncomfortable. I take note of how he sort of clams up, a bothered look on his face. I sigh a little bit, looking to change the subject. "So, how was everyone's day?"

"Pretty good," Jeff replies, instantly going along with it.

I give him a small smile, a little bit worried about him. I turn to Hunter, "What about you, babe?"

He shrugs, "It was okay, I guess. What'd you do today?"

"Oh, um, nothing really. I just had a couple of classes..." I answer, a hint of awkwardness in my voice. Why am I such a terrible liar? I turn to Thad, "How was work?"

"Long, boring, glad to be home." He answers honestly.

Hunter nods, "I feel ya, dude."

They chat amoungst themselves for a while and I let my mind drift off. I can't stop thinking about Anderson. I know I shouldn't, and I don't even know why I am, but I can't seem to help it no matter how hard I try. Common sense says I should hate him, that or just have nothing to do with him. But he has this certain charm that holds your attention. He's nearly impossible to say no to. Of course I would never cheat on Hunter, but I need to what this guy's deal is.

We all work on unpacking for a while and then have some supper. I take a shower with Hunter and then crawl into bed alone. He walks into the room a little while later, turning the light on, "Going to bed without me?" he asks, realizing that I'm still awake.

I shrug, "I'm just really worn out."

He takes his shirt off and climbs into bed with me after shutting the light back off, "You know you promised that we could have sex tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I remember..." I mutter, not really in the mood, "I take it you're gonna hold me to that?"

He kisses me on the forehead, "I really really want to, but I'm not gonna force you if you too brutally exhausted."

I roll over so that my body is faced towards him, "Yeah, I guess I'll keep my word." I give him a small smile, not wanting to lead him to think that anything could be up with me.

He pulls me into his arms, "Are you sure? No pressure or anything."

I nod, "Yeah, it's cool. But I actually have a quick question before we get too sexy."

"Sure, what is it?" he asks, propping his head up a little.

"Earlier, after I got home, you brought up the subject of Jeff and Thad having sex. Did Jeff look really uncomfortable or was it just me?"

He's quiet for a second, thinking about it, "Yeah, a little, when you mention it."

"Do you think you might know why?"

"It could be anything. Probably nothing to worry about." he answers casually, "You're not uncomfortable, though, right?"

"Of course not." I answer, pulling him into a kiss.


	18. Chapter 17

The next few days go by relatively well. The four of us settle into the apartment, getting everything unpacked and organized. Thad really want to do some decorating and house warming, but none of us have had much time. We're rarely all home at the same time, between work and school and other miscellaneous affairs.

I wake up around midnight on a Friday night to the sound of my phone ringing. I slip out from Hunter's arm in a hurry and answer in a whisper. I walk out of the room, hoping he didn't get woken up. Thankfully he's usually a pretty heavy sleeper. "Hello?"

"Hey, Seb, it's Anderson, how's it going?"

I sigh, rubbing my eyes awake, "Ugh, why are you calling me so late? And for future reference, don't call me Seb. It's Sebastian, Bas, Bastian, Smythe, or whatever, I don't even care, anything but Seb."

"Haha, alrighty then, Bastian, I was just wondering if you wanted to come hang out or something." he says with a chuckle.

"I um, I can't."

"Why not?"

I frown a little bit, "I was asleep before you called me. In bed, with my boyfriend. Who I live with now."

"Oh, well then," he replies, a hint of displeasure in his voice, "I thought you were sort of, I don't know, over him?"

"We were going through a rough spot," I explain, "But that's all over now. We're good, and I don't want to jeopardize that."

"You've been sending me some mixed signals, you know. Just a few days ago you were asking me for my number. Seems to me that you don't really know what you want."

I run a hand through my hair, frustrated, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," I flop onto the couch, unsure where to go from here, "I don't mean to. I just, I don't even know. I just woke up, my brain's fuzzy."

"It's okay," he mutters coolly, "You're grumpy because you were all happy in dream land with your questionable choice of a significant other and I pulled you out of that. If you want to go back to bed, that's fine. But don't talk like you're done with me because we both know that you're not."

I curl up against the side of the couch, not feeling up to this conversation, "Look, I can't talk about this right now. I think I just want to be friends with you, and that's it, okay? My boyfriend's really protective, if you can't no for an answer than you might want to just give up on me altogether."

I can practically here his eyes rolling through the phone, "Okay. Fine, we can be friends. Good enough for me. Can you hang out tomorrow night?"

I sigh in relief, "Yeah, sure. What time?"

"Eight?"

"Alright, where?"

"The club, where we met originally."

"Sure. See you then. Bye."

I hang up the phone without waiting for a response. Things are pretty good with Hunter so I should probably just tell this guy I'm dropping off the planet. A part of me doesn't want to, but I know that it's my best bet. I'd rather keep my relationship with Hunter good than figure him out.

"Who was that?"

I turn around to see Hunter standing in the doorway, a serious expression on his face. I feel my heart sink down to my stomach. I try to act like nothing is going on, and that I have no reason to feel even slightly guilty, but he can already see straight through me.

"Hey, Hunt. Sorry if I woke you..." I reply, avoiding his question.

He sits down on the recliner across from me, his expression remaining cold, "It's fine. Who were you talking to on the phone just now?"

"Just a friend," I answer, eyes drifting to the floor.

"Just a friend, huh?" He replies sternly, "Didn't sound like that to me. Tell me what's going on, Sebastian, and don't you dare even try to lie to me."

I tense up, freaking out in my mind. I try to keep my cool on the outside,"It's nothing important, really. I just, I had accidentally given him the wrong impression about what my intentions were. It's sorted out now, though."

He shakes his head, "You're not seeing him tomorrow night, understood?"

I sit up a little bit, getting rapidly more upset, "You can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with, Hunter. Nothing's going on, I swear to god. You heard me tell him that I just want to be friends. He said that was fine. So I have every right to hang out with him and you can't tell me not to."

His hand clenches into a fist and his voices raises a little bit, "Yes I can and I am. I don't know him and I don't trust him. Remember what happened last time? Do we really need to go through this again?"

"This is different, don't even start with that!" I reply sharply, "You just, you have no fucking idea.."

"Then enlighten me. What the hell is going on with you? Why can't you just be honest with me? If there was really nothing going on with this guy you wouldn't get so damn defensive!"

I shake my head, already holding back tears, "Just stop! Okay? Just fucking stop! I'm not cheating on you, because truth be told, I'm afraid of what you would do to me if I did! We've been over that, remember?"

He sits up a little bit, getting angrier by the second, "What's that supposed to mean? Now you're fucking scared of me because I don't want to be cheated with god knows what kind of trash? I'm not going to apologize for putting my foot down on your sneaking around!"

"I'M NOT FUCKING CHEATING ON YOU, HUNTER!" I almost scream, standing up and walking into our bedroom.

He follows me in there, "Just relax, okay? What the hell are you doing?" he yells.

I pull on a pair of jeans and put my shoes, "I'm getting out of here! I'm not going to sit here while you accuse me of being a whore!"

He grabs my arm before I can walk out of the room, "Just sit the fuck down, you're not going anywhere!"

I try to pull away but his grip is too tight, "Yes I am! Let go of me!"

He pulls me out of the doorway and pushes me down on the bed, "You're not going anywhere, Sebastian!"

I get back up just to be pushed back down again, "Touch me again and we're over!" I warn, making another attempt to leave.

He pulls me away from the door and I fight him with every ounce of strength I have. Still, he over powers me and I end up on the floor.

"Fuck," I mutter, sharp pains running up my back as I hit the ground.

Thad walks into the doorway, "Are you guys okay? What's going on?"

Hunter ignores him, falling down onto his knees beside me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

I get up, holding my back, shoving off Hunter's attempt to help me back up. I take advantage of Thad being there and manage to get out the door.

I hurry down the street, turning a few corners so I'd be hard to find if anyone comes looking for me.

Eventually I break down on the side of the street. I just sit there at first, alone on the sidewalk in the middle of the night, crying so hard I can barely breathe. When I finally calm myself down, I take my phone out and call Anderson, not knowing where else to turn right now.

He picks up on the second ring, "Hey, Bastian?"

"On second thought, I wanna see you," I explain, still sniffling, "Can you come pick me up?"

"Are you sure about that or are you gonna change your mind as soon as I get there?"

"Please," I reply weakly, "Just please come get me."

"Okay," he answers, his voice softening, "Where are you?"


	19. Chapter 18A

**Jeff's P.O.V.**

I wake up on Saturday morning, wandering into the kitchen. Thad and I were woken up by Sebastian and Hunter fighting, but I never found out why. Thad said that he would talk to them and to just stay in bed. I had fallen back asleep before he came back.

Hunter's sitting at the kitchen table, a strange, heart wrenching sadness written all over his face. I grab a cup of coffee and sit down across from him, "Hey," I greet him gently, "Are you alright?"

He shakes his head, "No. Not at all. But it's me you should be worried about."

"What happened?" I ask, "If you don't mind."

He explains the fight that he and Sebastian had, a weak vulnerability that I've never heard from him before. At first I think that he might break down or cry, but he doesn't.

I put my hold consolingly on his, "I'm so sorry..."

He shakes his head, "It's all my fault. I'm just so paranoid about him running off and getting hurt, but it turns out that I was the one hurting him."

I sigh sadly, "It's not entirely your fault, Hunt. I mean, of course things got a little bit out of hand, but your heart was in the right place?"

"Was it?" he asks, a harsh tone in his voice, "I just, I wasn't fair to him. It was like I had to control every move he made, but I wouldn't dream of having to answer to him. I don't know what it was, exactly. I guess I just got too possessive over him and started treating him more like my property than my boyfriend. I just, I fucking hate myself so much right now, Jeff. _He left me._ And I deserved it. And now I don't think he's ever coming back..."

It breaks my heart to see him like this. I still feel so much for him. I just want to hold him, to tell him that I'm still here for him, that he still has me. But that's not what he wants to hear. I don't believe that he ever had any honest feelings for me, it had always been Sebastian...

I get up and walk around the table to hug him, "I'm so, so sorry Hunter. I know you probably could care less about this right now, but I'm here for you. Anything, whatever you need. I'm here."

He glances up at me, petting my arm, "Why? I mean, I'm the one that was in the wrong..."

"Maybe, maybe not," I reply, stroking his hair, "But that doesn't make a difference as to whether or not you're hurting. Just because you did some things you're not proud of us doesn't make you a bad person, and I could never see you any differently."

He stands up and pulls me into his arms, "You're, you're an amazing person, Jeff. I don't know what I'd do without you. Just...thank you."

I look up at him, a painful smile on my face, "Well, I owe you my life, so don't even mention it."

He kisses me on the head, "You know, I haven't forgotten about-"

His sentence breaks off when Thad walks in. He looks over at us with a sympathetic smile, "Are you guys alright?"

Hunter sighs, letting me out of his arms, "I, I don't know. Thank you, though. You haven't heard from Sebastian, have you?"

Thad shakes his head, "I'm afraid not. He'll probably come around, though. I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Hunter nods, "Thanks." He then walks into his bedroom, shutting his door.

Thad looks over at me, "What about you? How are you feeling?"

I shrug, "I don't even know, to be honest. I feel so bad for Hunter, he's hurting so badly. I can only imagine what Sebastian could be going through right now."

He nods, sitting down on the couch with me, "I'm worried sick about him. I mean, he's probably alright. He has a lot of friends and I guess he could be staying with whoever. I'm just praying wherever he is, he's safe. I can't blame him for walking out last night, though. I probably would have done the same thing. Hunter just seems so difficult to be with."

I frown a little bit, "You're not blaming this all on Hunter, are you?"

"Well, I don't know," he replies quietly, "I guess not entirely, but most of this is on him. He was the one accusing Sebastian of all kinds of stuff, he was the one who got physical, I mean..."

I immediately get a little bit angry, "Sebastian was the one making sketchy phone calls in the middle of the night, and being evasive. He was obviously hiding something, I'm not the slightest bit surprised Hunter thought that something was going on."

"You're blaming this on Sebastian now?" He asks in disbelief.

"Partially, yes!" I answer, "It takes two, you know. You're wrong to be so hard on Hunter, I mean, you can see what he's going through!"

"It was his own fault!" he retorts, "He's just upset because he royally screwed up!"

"Exactly! He screwed up!" I reply angrily, "He made a mistake, and he feels horrible about it! But he's not the whole problem!"

"Why are you so hell bent on defending him, anyway?"

"Because you're attacking him and that's not what he needs right now!"

He shakes his head in frustration, "I didn't even say anything to him!"

"Yeah, so I'm defending him because he's not even here to defend himself! I can't believe you would treat him like that!"

He gets up, calming down a little bit, "Whatever, Jeff. We just...we never should have moved in together." He grabs his jacket and walks out the door before I can say anything else.

I curl up on the couch, starting to cry a little. I'm not even sure what to think anymore. The truth is I don't know who's right and who's wrong. All I know is that we're all hurt and angry and our relationships are crumbling beneath our feet and we have no one to blame but ourselves. I know I'm plenty guilty, but maybe not for what someone might think. I just feel guilty for getting involved with Thad when my heart's been with Hunter this whole time. I still have intense feelings for Thad, but I don't think they've ever matched my feelings for Hunter.

Hunter walks into the room and curls up on the couch with me, "Are you alright, kiddo?"

"I don't think so." I whisper, tears running down my face, "It's just, we've ruined everything. We've_ all_ just destroyed everything."

He kisses me on the cheek, pulling me up against him, "This isn't your fault, Jeff. It's my fault and I'm sorry that things are falling apart with Thad because of it."

I wrap my arms around his neck, "It's not your fault, either. It's just that Thad and I were so tightly bound to you and Bas that as soon as you guys fall apart we do, too. It's everybody and nobody's fault at the same time."

"Fair enough," he replies, stroking my cheek, "Do you think they'll ever come back?"

I bite my lip, "I don't know. I hope they do, but if they don't, it'll be for the best, right?"

He sighs, "I don't know..."

"But if they don't come back, it would just mean that our relationships couldn't be fixed, so they're choosing to end them. And it would just save us all time and energy in the end. I love them, and I'll miss them if they don't come back soon, but we can't let ourselves get destroyed over this."

"Yeah..." he agrees wistfully, "You're right. But it sure as hell won't be easy. When I met Sebastian, I felt something that I had never felt before, I don't even know how to describe it, but it was intense. We had something really serious, and I don't know if I'll ever completely get over him, you know?"

I nod, hugging him tightly, "Just give it time. I really hope they both come back, he might just need some air. I don't know..."

We both lie there together, doubtful yet hopeful at the same time. Of course I really do want Thad and Sebastian back, but I'd probably be in the best shape if they never do. I like the idea of having Hunter to myself, as wrong as I know it is to feel that way. I won't make any kind of move on him, but if he decided that he might want me, I'd have my arms wide open.

We don't talk all that much, but we spend the majority of the day snuggling on the couch, silently comforting each other as we mull over the disaster that we're in. I sigh, adjusting my head a little bit, staring painfully out the window at the city that once looked beautiful. But without Thad and Sebastian here with us, it's just a collection of buildings without life or meaning.


	20. Chapter 18B

I walk into Anderson's high end apartment, quiet and mournful. He sits me down on his bed, petting me on the shoulder, "Are you...are you alright?"

I shake my head, putting my knees up, trying to keep myself from crying. He sighs, "Talk to me, what's going on with you?"

"It's just..." I try to say, but I can already feel myself starting to tear up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here. I'm not, I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

"That's fine," he replies, lying down with me, "Just get some rest. We can talk tomorrow."

"Thank you." I whisper, closing my eyes.

Despite my exhaustion, I don't fall asleep very easily. All I can think about is Hunter. How much I love him, how much I can't stand being in another man's arms when I was just with him not two hours ago. I hate that I'm so in love with him, that even after everything that happened, the number one thing on my mind is how much I miss him and how much I want to be with him. I know that a lot of the time he didn't really treat me right, but I don't even care right now. I'm just damning myself for not letting him hold me down and making me stay with him.

The more I think, the harder it is to hold back from weeping. Silent tears roll down my face and onto this stranger's pillow. I've probably been here before, but under the worst circumstances. I can't believe that this is where I've resorted to for comfort. I don't even remember being here, and nothing's ever felt less like home. Fully clothed, I feel naked. Wrapped up in his arms, I feel alone. Under the covers, I feel cold. Somehow in one piece, I feel shattered. Nothing feels okay and I don't even know how to think properly anymore. Never before in my life have I felt so hopeless.

I don't sleep a wink that night, but I realize that it's morning when Anderson starts to wake up, the sun peeking through the heavy curtains. He glances over at me, surprised to see that I'm still awake, "Hey, you're up already?"

I nod, "Yeah, sort of, I guess."

He rubs my shoulders, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly, not great." I answer with an understatement, "But I'm alive, I guess."

"What happened last night?" he asks, a hint of concern in his voice, "It was like one second you were going back to bed with your boyfriend and the next you were crying on the side of the road..."

"We got in a fight. A really, really horrible fight..." I explain, each word filled with sharp pain, "I ended up walking out on him. I don't even know what to do now."

He strokes my hair, "You can stay here," he offers, "I know you mentioned that you guys had recently moved in together. I've got your back for as long you need me."

"I appreciate that," I mutter, sitting up a little, "Honestly I think I'm better off just checking into a mental institution at this point."

He raises an eyebrow, "It's that bad?"

I nod, "Yeah. The worst part is...I don't even know, it's all pretty terrible."

He climbs out of bed, "Yeah, that sounds pretty bad. Do you, um, want some coffee?"

"Sure," I mutter, "Thank you."

I was going to go on about how the worst part was that I still wanted Hunter after everything that happened, but then I had realized what topped that was the fact that I went to him of all people for help. I feel beyond fucked up at this point. I follow him into his kitchen and we sit down at the table together after the coffee is done.

Trying to get my mind off Hunter for five seconds, I bring up a different topic, "So, um, what are your plans for the day?"

"I didn't really have much of anything. I guess now I'll just stay here with you for the most of the day, assuming you have no where that you need to be."

I give him a small smile, "I appreciate that. What would you be doing if I wasn't here?"

He shrugs, "Well, I don't generally work a lot of Saturdays, so I'd probably just relax. Probably have some friends over and chill out, I guess."

"Oh yeah, what do you do for work?"

"I'm an actor."

My mind flings back several months, before I had met Hunter, before any of this stuff had happened. I had wanted to be an actor more than anything. It was my dream all through high school, the reason I had moved to this damn city in the first place. It's incredible how quickly I had let myself lose sight of something that used to be everything to me.

"Oh, wow, really?" I ask, immediately interested, "That's so cool. I want to act myself, actually."

He nods, "Oh yeah? I could probably help you out there, if you want."

I grin, "Really? I'd appreciate that so much. Do you do like movies or TV shows or?"

His face brightens up at my sudden attentiveness, "I do commercials, mostly. Maybe you've seen some of them, haha, I did that credit score thing."

I raise an eyebrow, "Oh, oh my god, I can't believe I never recognized you, you're Cooper Anderson. I was always under the impression you're first name was Anderson."

He smirks, "Not to get me confused with Anderson Cooper. Are you in school for acting?"

I nod, "Yeah, I've been looking for auditions and stuff but I haven't gotten too far."

"I'll hook you up. Come with me to work on Monday."

"Oh my god, really?"

"Absolutely, we can hang out for the rest of the weekend and then I'll see what I can do when we go to the studio."

I'm still hurting like hell over my break up with Hunter, but reconnecting with my passion certainly eases the pain a little bit. I think what it is is just that I was convinced that my life was pretty much over, and now I'm being reminded that it's not. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about Hunter, I still love him deeply. I want to go back to him every second, but if I ever want anything to change, I'm going to have to do things differently the second time around. I don't want things to be over, but I didn't go through that horrible night and get the strength to walk away just to come crying back to him.

I find myself filled with an unfamiliar sense of hope the further the weekend goes along. Things go a lot smoother with Cooper than I thought they would. He's nice to me to the point that I consider that I might have had a totally wrong impression about what happened on that nice I passed out outside of the club. I'm still not certain on what to think for sure, but I'm going to allow myself to pretend that everything might be just fine, even if I know deep down that I'm probably completely wrong.


	21. Chapter 19

Hunter, Thad and Jeff all make attempts to call me over the weekend but I don't answer any of them. Growing exasperated, I eventually just shut my phone off altogether to try and get some peace of mind. Those days are spent with Cooper, hanging around and a lot of small talk. Sunday night I walk into his bedroom and I see him sitting at his bedside, tapping his fingers mindlessly on the night stand. There's a tired, stressed look on his face that I've never seen on him before.

I watch him in worry from the doorway, "Is everything okay?"

"Sebastian," he mutters, standing up, not having noticed me until I spoke, "Um, yeah, it's fine. Are you okay?"

I nod, walking further into the room, "Yeah. What's on your mind?"

He sighs, "Nothing. Nothing at all. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Alright," I answer even though I don't actually agree with what he's saying at all, "What are you up to?"

He shrugs his shoulder, "Nothing, really. Did you want to head to bed soon?"

"Sure, if you want."

He smiles, opening his dresser drawer and tossing me some pajamas, "Are you gonna sleep in here tonight?"

Friday night I had slept on his bed with him, or at least I would have if I had actually fallen asleep that night. Last night I slept on the couch, feeling nervous about getting to close and personal. "Um, I don't know."

He sits back down, taking his shoes off, "I'd like it if you did. My bed's a lot more comfortable than the couch and you'll need a decent night's sleep. We're going to the studio tomorrow and we need to be up pretty early."

"Sure," I answer uneasily, "I'm just gonna change real quick."

I walk into the bathroom, shutting the door and changing into the clothes he gave me. I don't know how I feel about sleeping with him, even if it doesn't entail anything but. I know that he likes me, and I've quickly grown more and more fond of him. But I'm nowhere near getting over Hunter, I'm still secretly hoping that we'll somehow end up together again. I don't want to give Cooper the wrong idea about what my intentions are here. He had said that he was cool with just being friends over the phone the other night, but a lot has changed since then.

I walk back into his bedroom, and sit down on the side of the bed. He's just wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants, combing his hair in the mirror. He smiles at me and takes a seat behind me, "You alright?"

I shrug, "I guess, yeah. Thanks."

He puts his arm around me, kissing me on the forehead. We both climb under the covers and he shuts the lights off. He instantly has his arms around me and I'm not sure what to do. I'm not comfortable with it, but at the same time I don't really want to say anything or push him away. So I just don't do anything, really. I lie there still, not moving towards or away from him.

The next morning he takes me to the studio where he's filming a scene for his guest star role on a soap opera. I follow him around like a puppy, feeling amazed and nervous at the same time. After a long, windy walk around a bunch of different sets, we stop outside an area that looks like hospital entrance. He looks around for a moment and then turns to me, "I've got to go get into my costume and stuff, but when I get a chance I want to introduce you to my manager."

"Sure, yeah, sounds great," I reply with a grin, "Where should I wait for you?"

"Just stay around here, near the outside of the set." he explains, and then with a peck on the cheek, "I'll be back, okay?"

I nod, and then start to wander around the area after he goes off. I look around at all the fabulous actors, the sets, and the camera equipment. For a short moment I'm imagining what it would be like to actually work here. To come to a place like this every day and just act for a living. Even if this is no where near a major production, I'm still star struck to be here.

"Hey." I turn around to see a gorgeous 30 something year old woman approaching me, a charismatic smile across her perfectly angular features, "I don't think we've met. Are you one of the new guest stars?"

I shake my head, flattered by her assumption, "Oh, no. I'm just, I don't even know. I guess you could say I'm just sort of shadowing someone for the day."

"Oh," she replies with a shrug, "Fair enough. Are you looking to be an actor or something?"

"Yeah, definitely," I answer, "I'm a college student, but I want more than anything to act someday."

She smirks, "Don't say someday like younger people can't do it. You're not gonna look that handsome forever, you know."

I try not to grin too much, "Yeah, that's true. I don't know, I've done a few auditions but I haven't really gotten anywhere thus far."

"Well," she mutters, "I have no idea about how well your acting is, but you've got a pretty face and seem like a really nice kid. I'm working on another project in a few weeks and we have a spot or two open that you might fit the criteria for." She hands me a business card with a small smile, "Auditions start on the 14th of next month, I'd be a shame not to see you there."

I take her card eagerly, giving it a once over, "Wow, thank you so much. I'll be there, I'll be ready, hopefully I impress you."

"Well, it was nice talking to you. I'll see you later, then, ...?"

"Oh, Sebastian Smythe." I introduce myself, shaking her hand politely.

"Sebastian." She finishes with a nod before she walks over to a small group of people that are on the set.

I grin, looking down at her business card, filled with hope and excitement. Before I know it, Cooper walks back over to me, dressed in black suit with his hair done up, "Hey, what's up?"

I beam up at him, "I was just given an amazing opportunity, I mean, it's just an audition, but I'm still really happy about it. You look stunning by the way."

He smirks, "Oh yeah? By who?"

I glance down at the card I was given, "Trisha Jansen. She came up and talked to me for a minute, she was really nice."

"Ahh," he replies, "Trish is a producer. You're lucky that she liked you, definitely someone you'll want to impress."

I nod, grinning, "Wow. This is amazing."

"You're adorable," he comments, "So dumbfounded by everything."

I roll my eyes, "I'm sure you were the same way when you were just starting out in all of this."

He shrugs, "Somewhat, but not as much as you are. I gotta go get in position, they start shooting really soon."

"Okay, good luck." I reply. He gives me a pet on the shoulder, walking in front of the hospital and muttering some things to his fellow actors.

I lean back and watch as they shoot the scene, enjoying the opportunity to see everything in action.


	22. Chapter 20

Cooper drops me off at school the next day before he heads to work. I pay close attention to my studies seeing as I had skipped yesterday. I'm falling behind in a lot of my classes after everything's that's been going in my life. Truth be told I'm secretly hoping that I'll somehow manage to get myself a decent acting gig and maybe a contract so that I could just quit school together. But I know that it's not very practical, so until some miracle happens in my life, I need to keep my head in the game.

I take a bus back to Cooper's and do some studying while he's still at work. I go over just about everything until it's cemented in my head, but even by the time I'm finished with all of that I'm still alone in his apartment. I lie around for a while and watch some trashy reality TV, but it doesn't take long for me to snap back into reality.

I take out my phone and turn it on for the first time in days. I have 25 missed calls from Hunter and my voice mailbox is full. I don't bother listening to any of my messages, but I know that it's about time that I call him back. I'm nervous and I kind of don't want to, but at the same time I'm dying to hear his voice. I know that if he disappeared on me for a few days I'd be freaking out like crazy, so it's only fair that I contact him sometime. I dial his number and wait for him to pick up.

Just when I think he's not going to pick up, he does, "Sebastian?"

Just hearing him say my name breaks my heart. I can hear everything right away, the pain, the worry, he sounds broken in a way that I've never heard him before.

"Hunter..." I reply, drowning in emotion.

"Oh my god, baby...Where are you? Are you alright? I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm so sorry, baby. I swear I'll never hurt you like that ever again, please come home." He rushes all his words together as though he's afraid that I not hear them all.

"Hunter, I, I don't even know what to say. I couldn't take it, but I missed you the second I left. I'm just, I don't even know. I need you, but I don't know if that's the best decision for us."

"Sebastian, sweetie," he replies, his voice going from panicked and terrified to soft and consoling, "I know that I really fucked things up with you. I lost control of myself in a way that I am beyond of ashamed of. But if you could just somehow find a way to forgive me, or even just come back home, I promise that I'll never hurt you like that again, under any circumstance. Just give me one more chance and I swear that I'll make everything better."

"Hunter, I'm scared..." I answer, trying not to sob, "I love you, I love so much. But you have to understand that things are really complicated with me, and you can't seem to really handle that or be able to trust me."

"I want to negotiate with you about some things, but I'm afraid to try. Things aren't anywhere near perfect between us, but I, I just need you back. Can you please just come home so that we can talk about it?"

"If you promise that we can discuss things calmly, like mature adults, and it's not going to be a fight. And it doesn't mean we're back together if I come home tonight." I set my rules down nervously, sharp pains in my chest.

"Yes. Absolutely. We can leave it at that right now. Do you need a ride home?" He replies with a sigh of relief.

"No, that's alright. I'm not sure when I'll be there exactly, but it'll be some time tonight, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye." I reply, feeling weird without following that with an 'I love you'.

I sigh, feeling suddenly guilty. I have to tell Cooper that I'm leaving, and I'm not even sure how. I'm still not certain about him, but if nothing else, he's done a lot for me these last few days. And honestly, I have some kind of backwards feelings for him. I could never tell him because I wouldn't want to hurt him. I know that I could never love anyone the way that I love Hunter, and bringing up the subject at all would just be building him up just to tear him down.

I call up Cooper looking sadly out the window.

"Hey, Sebastian, what's up?" he answers cheerfully.

"I know that this might be a bad time, and I'm sorry, but I'm going to head home. I appreciate what you've done for me more than I can say, but I need to go back and face my problems."

"Wait," he replies, a drastic change in his voice, "Why? I thought you and your boyfriend were totally over."

"I never said that," I mutter mournfully, "I'm not sure what we're going to do. We're not even back together or anything, but that's where I live so I'm going to head back so we can talk about it. I can't just hide forever."

"Fair enough. But be careful and don't let yourself get sucked back in. I don't want to see you get hurt again. I'm here for you, you know. You don't have to rely on him for anything."

"Thank you, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm gonna head out now, but I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"

He sighs, "Just be really careful, okay? I'm worried about you."

"I will. I promise."

"Okay, bye." There's a hollow sadness that makes me feel that much more guilty.

"Bye."

I head down to the bus stop and wait to be taken back home. I have a knot in my stomach, panicking a little over the memory I had with Hunter. But my love for him has always been stronger than any pain that he's inflicted on me, and I have to keep in mind that that's the reason that I'm going back. I feel beyond unsettled the more that I think about it. I just hope more than anything that things go smoothly between us. I can't take another blow out with him, I know that I would break instantly, likely beyond repair.

I get on the bus and take a seat, my hands folded tightly together. I look out the window and try to stay calm and not think too much. I'm beyond nervous at this point, I'm terrified. I need to get my life back on track with or without Hunter. I have to be able to be ready to somehow survive if things don't work out. I try to tell myself that it would be just like how it was before we met, but I know that's not the case. It's like being stabbed, in a way. You're fine before it happens, but when it does you instantly suffer. It hurts more than anything, but when you pull it out, you bleed out faster. I try to dismiss the thought, trying to see all the good things about our relationship. It's a lot harder than it sounds, though.


	23. Chapter 21

I walk up to the apartment door and freeze before I open it. I sigh, biting my tongue and just try to relax. I take a deep breath and walk in.

I look around to see Hunter and Jeff snuggled up on the couch a little too close for my liking. Hunter turns around and immediately jumps up, getting off the couch and rushing towards me. He pulls me into his arms and holds me silently for a moment. I sigh, staying completely still. I'm feeling so much that I dare not express any of it in fear that it might all just spill out at once.

Jeff gives me a small smile, "I'm glad to see you're alright. I'll give you guys some privacy, though." He walks out into his bedroom and shuts the door.

I look back at Hunter, "Where's Thad?"

He sighs sadly, "He and Jeff got in a fight on Saturday after you left. He's been in and out, but I think he's avoiding being around."

I frown, "We have to go and find him."

Hunter shakes his head, sitting me down on the couch, "He'll be back tonight, okay? We can talk to him later but right now we have other matters that need to be attended to, okay?"

I nod reluctantly, "You're right."

He pecks me on the forehead and then takes a seat on the other side of the couch, "I'm so glad that you're safe. Where were you the last few days?"

"I was with a friend," I answer, honest but vague, "I really missed you, though."

"I know, babe. I'm really sorry about the other night. I know it doesn't mean very much, but I never meant to hurt you." He explains sincerely.

"I know. And as long as you can swear that we'll never come close to that again, then I'll just forgive and forget."

"Of course, I promise. But um, that's it? You don't have anything else that you want to say?"

I shake my head, "We both know how much you hurt me the other night. We both know how much I hurt you be disappearing the last few days. I don't think we need to rub any of that in. I just want this all to be over with."

"Yeah, I understand," he replies, a sad tone in his voice, "I just got the impression you had a lot you wanted to talk about from when we spoke over the phone earlier."

"Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"There kind of is, actually. I know you don't want to hear this, but it needs to be dealt with," he sighs, quiet for a moment, "I'm not going to try to control what you do with your life. You just need to be honest with me about what you're doing. It's not that I don't trust you, but if you avoid telling me stuff, it just makes it look like you might have something to hide from me, you know?"

I nod, "Yeah. There's some things that I've been dealing with. And it's complicated. I've been avoiding telling you because I'm not sure about everything myself, and I wouldn't want you to think something that isn't necessarily true."

He bites his lip, "Yeah, that sounds kind of complicated. Can you just give me a rough idea about what's going on? Please?"

"Promise you won't get angry or do anything stupid."

"I promise. What is it?"

I take a deep breath, "I met this guy a while back, the guy I was on the phone with the other night..."

He clenches his jaw, "Just tell me, babe. What about this guy?"

I hold back from crying, still uncertain about telling him the truth. It's all or nothing at this point. I sigh, "Don't freak out. Don't say anything and stay calm until I'm done, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well I had met this guy at that club that night when I went with Thad and Nick. He was flirting with me a lot, but I told him that I had a boyfriend. He said he was okay with that and that he just wanted to dance. He got me a drink and I was out before we even got to the dance floor. The next thing that I knew I was waking up on the side of the road, cold, sore and alone. That's when I called Trent and had you pick me up at his place. I was afraid to tell you what really happened. Later on, I saw that same guy on a bus and I wanted to find out what really happened that night so I struck up a conversation. I made friends with him hoping I could figure something out. I don't know why but he was the only person I could think to call after I left the other night. He let me stay with him for a few days and he even helped me out with some acting stuff. He was just so nice the last few days that I don't think that he could've been the one that drugged me that night. It looks like it, but there's a lot that I don't remember. He just really seems like he legitimately cares about me."

The look on his face is stern, cold but concerned at the same time. His voice is nearly emotionless when he speaks, "You didn't sleep with him or anything like that over the weekend, did you?"

I shake my head nervously, "No, of course not."

"What's his name?"

I hesitate for a moment, "Why?"

"Why don't you want to tell me?" He asks, straight faced.

I take a deep breath, "I'm just worried that you might think the worst of him. Why do you want to know?"

He stares me in the eyes, "I think I might have an idea what happened to you that night. I'm hoping that it's not the case, but I need to know."

I freeze for a moment, "Worst case scenario, you wouldn't do anything to hurt him, though, right?"

"Right. What's his name?"

"Anderson. Cooper Anderson."

He pauses for a moment, a look of pure horror on his face for a moment. His features then softens and he sighs, "Yeah, I don't know."

I feel relief wash over me, as much as I want to know what happened that night, I don't want Hunter to get involved, "So...is everything gonna be okay with us now?"

He nods, pulling me into his arms, "Yes. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure that you're safe and happy."

I kiss him for a long, silently emotional moment. We eventually climb into our bed, holding each other close. It feels great to be home, but it feels so much better to be reunited with Hunter. It feels the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. No more lies, no more fighting. For the first time in what feels like forever, everything feels perfect. Well, almost perfect. We still need to patch things up with Thad, but we can deal with that tomorrow. I'm worried about it, of course, but it feels nice to know that I'm not directly involved for once. I bury my face in Hunter's chest and shut my eyes, breathing in his familiar scent and drifting off to sleep.


	24. Chapter 22

**Jeff's P.O.V.**

I wake up in the middle of the night to Thad climbing into his bed.

"Thad?" I whisper quietly, not wanting to bother Hunter and Sebastian in the next room.

I hear him sigh and roll over, "What is it?"

"I'm sorry. And I miss you."

"What are you even sorry for, Jeff?"

"For choosing Hunter over you, in a way. I was so desperate to defend him that I didn't care how you felt. I just want you to know how terrible I feel about that." I explain plainly.

He gets up out of his bed and climbs into mine with me, "I still can't decide if getting separate beds was a good idea or not..." he mutters, putting his arms around me, "I forgive you. And I'm sorry I walked out so quick the other day. I was just on edge about what happened with Sebastian."

"He came home a few hours, you know." I mutter, little emotion in my voice.

"He did?" He asks excitedly, perking up.

"Yeah, but he and Hunter had a lot to talk about, so I didn't get a chance to say much."

"That's great," he mutters happily, "How's he doing? Did he seem alright to you?"

I shrug, "He was a little all over the place. I could see on his face how badly he needed Hunter. I'm sure things are better now that they're together."

"That's good." he says with a sigh, "How about you, how have you been holding up these last few days?"

"I'm alive, I guess..." I answer, "I've missed you. Hanging out with a depressed Hunter for days isn't exactly what I'd call fun. I'm glad he's happy now, though."

He kisses me on the cheek, "Jeff, I know that this is a little off topic, but I don't think I've ever told you how I really feel about you."

I cuddle up closer to him under his arm, "Then tell me."

"I think I'm in love with you, Jeff. I know things have been kind of weird between us, but I've just been dying to be with you. You know, like with you, with you. I want to be your man. I want to be here for you. I want to be together. I just, I guess I just really love you."

I feel my heart soften in my chest as I hear him speak, any and all hard feelings going straight out the window. I can't help but grin, "Really?"

He nods, "Really."

"That means so much to me. I just, I never would have guessed that you felt so strongly towards me. I was so confused about us, it's nice to hear you clarify things so honestly."

He kisses me on the forehead, "So what do you say? Can we call ourselves a couple?"

I nod, "Absolutely. But..." My mind goes to Hunter and the night that we kissed. I feel the need to confess everything to Thad before we make things official, but I can't bring myself to do it. It was just that one time, it'll never happen again. I just can't bring myself to surface anymore issues right now. We're all finally home together, I can't and I won't ruin everything.

He freezes for a moment, "But what?"

"Never mind." I reply quickly, "I'm just really excited about this, about us."

He smiles, petting my hair and relaxing again, "Me too."

"I know it was just a few days, but it feels like it's been forever since we were altogether. It feels great."

"Yeah, it does." He agrees.

He pulls me into a spooning position and we both drift off to sleep, warm an happy.

The next morning we all have breakfast together before Thad and Sebastian have to leave for school.

Thad whips up some omelettes and coffee and we all sit down at the table. Hunter has his arm around Sebastian, they're smiling and look really relaxed. I'm happy to say that I don't actually feel jealous this time. I'm too happy for them. I'm too happy with Thad. This is how things are supposed to be, I just know it in my heart.

Thad sits down next to me and turns to Sebastian, "How are you feeling?"

He shrugs, "I'm better, thanks. I heard you ran off, too. What happened?"

Thad sighs, running a hand through his hair, "Nothing major. It wasn't worth staying away for. Actually, I have some good news believe it or not."

Sebastian's face brightens up, "Me too, actually."

"Oh yeah, what is it?"

"Sorry, you first." Sebastian mutters.

Thad grins, putting a hand on my thigh, "Me and Jeff are officially together."

"Aw, cute. Congrats, guys." Hunter mutters, smiling at us both.

Sebastian reaches over the table to high five Thad, "That is some pretty great news! Good for you man, I'm so proud."

Thad rolls his eyes, "Haha, thanks. What was your news."

"It's not as good as yours," Sebastian begins, "But I was almost sort of invited to audition for this show in a couple weeks, I'm super excited."

"Oh, sounds cool." Thad replies with a grin, "It's about time you caught a break."

Sebastian nods, "Really. Well we should probably get going or we're gonna be late." He stands up, and gives Hunter a peck on the lips, "I love you, babe. I miss you already. Are you gonna be around tonight?"

Hunter shrugs, "Not sure. I'll call you."

Thad hugs me and gives me a small kiss, "Have a good day."

I beam up at him, "You too. See you later, babe."

Hunter and I watch as our boyfriends head out the door, fumbling around with their book bags and jackets. I sigh, looking at Hunter, "So, are you feeling any better now that Bas is back?"

He nods, "Yeah, of course. There's just one thing that I'm going to have to deal with before things can be perfect, though."

I raise an eyebrow, "Like what?"

He sighs, "I'm not sure if I should tell you, it's kind of a big deal. And I'm gonna have to be nearly careful, things could go seriously wrong."

I purse my lips, "What does this have to do with?"

"Sebastian," he answers plainly, "Well, sort of, at least. It's kind of a long story. It's something I have to do to make sure that he's safe. I promised that I would never let him get hurt ever again. I need to make sure of that."

"What could hurt him?" I ask, a puzzled expression on my face, "I still don't get it."

"I can't really tell you everything. I everyone as far away from this as possible. Don't say a word to Sebastian, but I'll tell you this," he explains grimly, "But it's not a what, it's a who."


	25. Chapter 23

**Sebastian's P.O.V.**

The next few days are some of the best of my life. Hunter seems to always be around whenever I'm out of school, and the four of us all spend a lot of time together. Even Jeff seems to be out of his shell as we stay up late, talking about anything, just happy to be spending time with one another.

I call up Cooper on my way home from school the following week, feeling bad that I haven't spoken to him sooner.

"Hello?" He answers, a tired tone in his voice.

"Hey, it's Bas. I'm sorry I took so long to call you, but I figured I'd check in and see how've you been?"

"I'm alright," he mutters with a sigh, "What about you?"

I frown a little, "I've been a lot better. But you don't sound too good, what's going on?"

"Nothing really. Just a little stressed out about work."

"Are you still filming for that soap?"

"We're wrapping it up this week," he answers plainly, "What about you? How are things with your boyfriend?"

"Great," I answer, "We patched things up and we've been doing really well ever since. It feels good to be back at home but I've kind of missed you."

"You too," he replies, his voice brightening a little, "When are you coming over again?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should come over here and meet my friends and stuff."

"I don't know about that," he mutters, "I kinda feel like I shouldn't get too close to your boyfriend, you know?"

"Yeah," I reply casually, "But you could give it a try, you know. You might actually get along, you never know."

"Who is your boyfriend, anyway? I feel like I've heard a lot about him but I've never gotten a name."

"I don't think you know him, he doesn't run in the same circles as you, or me even really."

"Um, sure, fair enough." He mutters in an odd, non believing tone.

I sigh, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, well, I'm just getting home now so I'll call you later?"

"Sure."

"Bye."

He doesn't sound happy, but I don't feel like there's very much that I can do about that. I open the front door and walk into the apartment, a little bothered.

I walk into the doorway of my bedroom, happy to see that Hunter's home. He's sitting on the side of the bed, facing towards the wall on the phone. Curious of who he might be talking to, I quickly sneak out the room before he sees me, leaning against the wall by the door.

"No," I hear him mutter, sounding frustrating, "I need someone that I can trust to get in and get out without making a scene. Is it that complicated?"

I can't hear the person on the other line, and everything is dead silent for a moment.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I don't even care."

More silence.

"Of course I'll have the money," he replies angrily, "Do you think I'm fucking retarded?"

He pauses, "Yeah, I already know that, but clearly I don't care."

He sighs, "Because some things are more important. Just get the job done and come see me with some kind of proof."

He hangs up the phone and I hear him stand up. I rush into the bathroom, trying to make it look like I hadn't been eavesdropping. He walks back into the main room and flops down on the couch, an irritated look on his face. I walk out of the bathroom and take a seat beside him, "Hey, I didn't expect you'd be here."

He looks a little surprised to see me, "I didn't even hear you come in. But yeah, I didn't have a whole lot to do today."

"Oh." I mutter causally, "Where's Jeff?"

"He's out looking for a job. I let him take my Jeep and I've just been praying that he doesn't do something stupid and hurt it."

"Fair enough," I reply, "I would tell you that it'll be fine but I have no clue how well he drives."

He chuckles a little, "Hopefully he's pretty good for a 17 year old."

"Hopefully." I agree.

He smirks, putting his arm around me, "So how was school?"

"Pretty good," I answer plainly, "Happy to be home, though, I missed you today." I add, hugging his arm.

"I missed you, too." He mutters with a peck on the cheek, "Thad should be home pretty soon, right?"

"Yeah, anytime now." I answer, then smile up at him, "So what did you do today if you didn't have any work to do?"

"Not much," he answers not entirely truthfully, "I've pretty much just been hanging out, took a long shower, watched some TV."

"Sounds like fun," I reply, frustrated that I can't really ask about the phone call. I sit up a little bit, "So, I don't know if this would be weird, but I was on the phone with Cooper earlier and he asked if I wanted to hang out. I suggested that he come over here but he didn't seem to keen on it. What do you think?"

He bites his lip, "I don't think that's such a good idea, babe. If you want to go and see him I won't stop you, though."

I sigh, "Yeah, I should've figured as much. But um, yeah, maybe I'll see him this weekend or something."

Hunter nods, a thoughtful expression on his face, "Okay. That should be just fine."

I smile a little, "Great. But um, did you want to do anything this weekend?"

He shrugs, "Yeah, maybe. Depends what day you're free."

Thad walks in through the door, setting his things down on the counter top, "Hey, guys, what's up?"

I glance over at him, "Hey Thad, how's it going?"

"Not bad, not bad," he mutters, taking a seat in the recliner, "Is Jeff around anywhere?"

I shake my head, "He's job hunting."

"Oh, good for him." He replies nonchalantly, "I miss him really bad though."

I grin at him, "You miss him really bad after being away for not even 12 hours?"

He rolls his eyes, "I wouldn't talk if I were you." He turns to Hunter with a smirk, "You should have heard him talk about you before you guys were really official, every five seconds it was _Oh, I miss Hunter. I hope Hunter's okay. When is Hunter gonna call me?_"

I give Thad the evil eye but Hunter looks amused, "I can believe that, I do have the effect on people."

I shake my head, "I can't even deal with you guys."

Hunter kisses my ear, "You know you love it."

I sigh, shaking my head, "Yeah, sometimes."

The three of us hang around the apartment for the rest of the afternoon, subconsciously waiting for Jeff to get home so we can go out and do something fun. But by the time he does, it's almost ten o'clock so we all stay in for the night.


	26. Chapter 24

Over the next few days I try calling Cooper several times but he doesn't answer once. The more time that passes, the more worried I get. I'm curled up on my bed leaving another voice mail when Hunter appears in the doorway. I finish my message before speaking to him, "Hey, Coop. It's Bas, are you mad at me or something? I haven't heard fro you in days and I'm starting to get worried. Well, call me back, I guess."

Hunter sits down beside me, "Is everything alright?"

I flop my head on his lap, "Honestly, I don't really know. I've been trying to get a hold of Cooper for days and I haven't heard back from him. I don't know if he's mad at me or what."

He pets my hair, "He could be. Honestly I wouldn't sweat it too much. I think you might want to start accepting the idea that he doesn't want to be in your life anymore, though."

I frown, "What makes you say that?"

He sighs, "Well, I just mean maybe he's given up on you. This guy's never really wanted to be just your friend. He's probably realized that he doesn't have a chance with you so he's just cutting things off altogether."

"I guess that would make sense," I mutter sadly, "I would think he would have said goodbye or something to me, though. It just seems kind of sudden, you know?"

He nods, "Yeah. But sometimes it's easier to not say goodbye. I can't really blame him for that. It can be really hard, you know?"

"Yeah." I say quietly, heavyhearted.

He pulls me up into his arms a little bit, "Try and keep your head up, babe. I get that it can be hard to lose a friend, but he never really wanted to be your friend, anyway. Besides, you still have Thad and Jeff, me of course, all your others friends that I don't know all that well."

I sigh sadly, "I guess that's true."

He pecks me on the lips, "I love you, babe. It'll all be alright, I promise."

I sit up, "Thanks."

Despite that I feel a little bit better after what Hunter said, I still don't feel at ease about Cooper. The next day after I get out of class I head down to the studio where he's been filming his latest project. I'm not sure what time he gets out so I figure it will easier if I just head down there earlier in the day rather than going to his apartment when he may or may not be home.

I walk into the building and do my best to navigate to where I think he might be. After getting hopelessly lost, I give up on finding him and head back to the front area. I approach the secretary at the desk, "Hi, um, I was just wondering if there was any chance if you knew where I could find Cooper Anderson."

She looks at me in disbelief for a moment, "Who are you?"

"Um, my name's Sebastian, I'm a friend of his."

She sighs, "Is this some kind of joke? Cause it's not funny in the slightest."

I shake my head, "No, of course not. It's just that I've been trying to reach him on his phone for days and he hasn't called me back or anything. I'm starting to get worried about him, you know."

The expression on her face goes from frustrated to sympathetic, "Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Sebastian, but Cooper Anderson is no longer with us."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"I mean he's dead." She says quietly, "He was found murdered in his apartment the day before yesterday."

I feel my stomach twisting itself in knots, "No, you can't be serious."

She frowns, "I'm really sorry."

I nod, holding back tears, "Right, thank you."

I rush out of the building, already sobbing. Everything hurts right now, I don't understand anything, I just wanted to say goodbye to him. I break down in an alleyway, bawling uncontrollably. He can't be dead. He just can't be. And in the worst way possible. I didn't know all that much about Cooper, but I never would have dreamed that anyone might want him dead. I can't seem to cope with the idea, nightmarish thoughts flooding my mind. I lose track of time in the alleyway, crying for maybe hours, I'm not even sure. Even when my tears start to finally subside, I can barely find the strength to even get back on my feet.

Through some miracle I get up and go home, shivering and sniffling the whole way. I walk quietly into the apartment and into my bedroom. I collapse onto the bed, beginning to weep again. Jeff walks in, hearing me crying. He sits down on the bed, putting a cautious hand on my back. He pauses, unsure what to say at first, "Hey, Bas, what's going on?"

I look over at him through watery eyes, "It's just, my friend, he, he's..." I can barely bring myself to say it, it just makes it all that much more real to hear it from my own mouth, "He's dead, Jeff."

I know he has no clue who or what I'm talking about, but he tries to console me anyway, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

He doesn't say much else, just stays by my side while I continue to wail. He stays with me until I finally calm down. He pets my back as I sit up, trying to normalize breathing, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, "No, thank you, though. I don't think I'm ready to think about it."

Hunter and Thad both come home shortly afterwards, but I spend the rest of the night in bed. Hunter walks into the room after speaking to Jeff in the kitchen. He strokes along my spine, taking a seat next to me, "Hey, sweetie. I'm so sorry about your friend. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not really..." I mutter painfully, "There's nothing anyone can do now."

He sighs, climbing in bed beside me, "Well, I'll be here if you need me."

I take his arm and wrap it around my waist, "Thank you."

I spend the next week mourning and trying to piece together what could have really happened to him. I don't leave the apartment at all, skipping out on all my classes and anything else I should have been doing that week. The guys are all really nice and caring towards me, but nothing eases the pain. I'm relying on Hunter more than ever now, but he seems more than happy to take care of me. I eventually drag myself out of bed to see when and where his funeral will be, desperate for some kind of closure or goodbye.


	27. Chapter 25

**Jeff's P.O.V.**

Sebastian's mourning seems like it may never subside, so Thad eventually takes him out and forces him to leave the house. By then, it's Saturday so Hunter and I are both at home. He seems awfully somber himself, but I'm assuming that it's just because of what his boyfriend is going through.

I sit down beside him on the couch, finally able to talk freely with Sebastian out of the house. He's just staring blankly out the window, immersed in his own thoughts. I put a hand on his arm, "How are you doing?"

He sighs, "I've been better, I've been worse. But mostly I've been a lot better."

I nod understandingly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head, "Well, I kind of do, but I probably shouldn't."

"You can talk to me, Hunter."

"I know, it's just kind of," His eyes drift down to the floor, "I would have to tell you something that you shouldn't know in order to explain what I'm feeling, you know?"

"I can keep a secret." I reply with a small smile.

He nods, "Promise? You can never tell anyone, ever. Especially not Sebastian."

"I promise." I swear clearly, making eye contact.

"Alright," he sighs, "I hired someone to kill Sebastian's friend, Cooper."

I stare at him in disbelief, "You can't be serious...why would you do something like that?"

"I can explain," he begins, a little defensive, "I knew Cooper a little bit myself, actually. Before I knew that Sebastian knew him. I never really liked the guy, he was kind of a jerk, you know? Well, anyway, Sebastian doesn't really remember it, but I put everything together and it turns out that Cooper drugged Sebastian and raped him. He actually told me all about it, I just didn't know it was Bas that he was talking about... He had him totally fooled. Sebastian really that he was his friend. I couldn't risk him getting hurt anymore..."

I pause for a moment, taking it all in. It hurts to think about it, but it does add up. I look up at him, "Do you believe that you did the right thing?"

He nods, "Yeah. Of course I do. I just feel guilty because Bas is so upset about it. I didn't want to tell him the truth about Cooper because I didn't know what difference it would make. That guy was an expert on playing mind games, he would have tried to turn Bas away from me. And he would only hurt him as soon as he had him where he wanted him..."

I can the see pain in his eyes as he speaks, it's clear that just the idea of anything happening to Sebastian really hurts him. I sigh, "Well, I don't know if I agree with you on this or not, but I understand. I won't say a word to Bas, I promise."

"Thanks, Jeff." He replies, staring out the window, "I don't like lying to him, but I know that he would never understand forgive me. You're a really great friend, you know that?"

I give him a small smile, "Thanks. But what about you, are you gonna be alright?"

He nods, "Yeah. Everything will be perfect when Sebastian gets over all of this. I'll finally be able to breath easy." He looks back at me, "What about you? How are things with Thad?"

"Good," I answer plainly, "We're um, we're really happy."

He smiles warmly, "Well that's the first piece of good news that I've heard in a while."

Thad and Sebastian get home around 7 o'clock that night with dinner for everyone. I greet Thad with a hug before he barely makes it through the doorway. He grins at me, putting the paper bag down, "Hey, baby, how are you?"

"Pretty good, how was your day?"

He lets me out of his arms to take his jacket off, "It was pretty good. Thanks."

I glance over at Sebastian, who looks like he's doing a little bit better than he was this morning. He walks over to Hunter and flops down into his arms. Hunter hugs him tightly and affectionately.

Thad smiles, "We got Chinese, I hope you guys didn't eat yet."

The four of us plate ourselves some food and sit around the table. Hunter turns to Sebastian, "So, did you guys have fun? What'd you do?"

"We went to the mall. Did some shopping and stuff. It was pretty cool. I actually got you a jacket." Sebastian answers plainly.

Hunter smiles a little bit, "What kind of jacket?"

He shrugs, "It's just a jacket. I think you might like it, though. I'll show you after supper."

There's still a negative vibe coming from Sebastian, but this is the best that anyone's seen him since he first heard of Cooper's death. I turn to Thad, "Did you get anything?"

"Not much," he mutters, swallowing what's in his mouth, "Just a couple of t shirts."

"Fair enough," I reply, "I bet you look really cute in them, though."

"Haha, I don't know. They look fine, I guess."

Hunter and I both work pretty hard to keep the atmosphere and everyone's moods up. It's almost as if there was a rain cloud fixated over all of us. Even if Sebastian was doing better, he wasn't nearly back to normal. One day at a time, I guess. It's just obvious that his sadness is taking a toll on Thad, and I feel pretty bad for both of them right now.

We clean up and head to bed relatively early, no one really feeling up to doing much that night. I lie awake in bed, cuddled up with Thad. I can't help but think about Cooper, mostly, but Hunter and Sebastian, too. I try to put myself in everyone's shoes, just trying to make sense of the situation in my head. I sigh, unable to come to a very good conclusion.


	28. Chapter 26

**Sebastian's P.O.V.**

Attending Cooper's funeral is one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I've never been to a funeral that I actually understood, and now that I am, it hurts like hell. I walk into the chapel quietly and alone, not speaking to anyone. No one recognizes me, of course, but they don't pay any mind to me.

I sit quietly and watch all the people in his life that I never got the chance to know mourning over his casket. I barely even move throughout the entire service, still suffering from the loss.

I stand to the side as he's buried in the cemetery and watch as his little brother nearly breaks down in front of everyone. Some people make an attempt to calm him down, but he's inconsolable, sobbing hysterically over his brother's grave. He eventually moves backwards so that they can finish burying him, still crying heavily.

Even as the funeral comes to a close, some people stay behind, including me and his brother. I walk closer to the grave, putting a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. He glances over at me, a little surprised to see a total stranger, "Were you a friend of his?"

I nod somberly, "Yeah. I never got the chance to know him as well as I wanted to, but I really cared about him."

He sighs, petting me on the back, eyes shiny with tears, "I just can't believe he's really gone. It was just so sudden. There were so many things that I never got to say him. So many wrongs that I was never able to make right."

I nod understandingly, "It's just so hard to accept it...I can only imagine what you're going through, you must have been pretty close to him."

He shakes his head, wiping tears from his eyes, "Not really, to be honest. We kind of went our separate ways as we got older. We didn't really get along a lot of the time. But he was my brother, and I never told him how much I really loved him."

My eyes drift down to the ground, now holding back tears myself, "Yeah, I can understand how that is. It's just so, it's just unfair."

He takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze, "So, um, how did you know him? If you don't mind me asking."

I force a smile, "We were friends. I met him a night club not all that long ego. He kind of liked me, and to be honest, I liked him back. I never told him that, though. I have a boyfriend and I never wanted to complicate things. But he never knew that if we met when I was available, I would have been in a heart beat."

He nods, a sympathetic look on his face, "That must be really tough. Especially now."

"Yeah, it is," I mutter mournfully, "You get so caught up in all these complicated relationships, you never even think to tell someone how much you really care. You don't even fully realize it yourself until they're gone and it's too late. And that's where the guilt sets in, all the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys', you start to forget the sun even rises."

He looks up at me, "That sounds like a pretty perfect description, actually. Have you lost someone close to you before this?"

I shake my head, "No, not really. That's all just how I'm feeling right now, how I've been feeling since he's been gone. I can barely cope with it some days."

He pulls me into a hug and instantly hug him back. Getting this close to a total stranger might normally seem strange to some people, but at times like this, it makes perfect sense. We're both feeling the same exact way, and it's easier to feel comforted by someone when you know they fully understand how you feel and what you're going through.

He gives me a shy smile as we let each other go, "Sorry, I hope that wasn't weird."

I shake my head, "Not at all, I actually kinda needed that."

"I'm Blaine, by the way." He mutters awkwardly.

"Sebastian." I reply, appreciating his friendly gestures.

He sighs heavily, "Well my parents are probably waiting for me, I should go."

He give him a weak smile, "Yeah. Well, it was nice meeting you, well, as nice as it could be under the circumstances."

He nods, "Yeah, you too."

We wave goodbye as he walks off through the misty graveyard. I stay at the grave a while longer, kneeling down next to his headstone, "Hey, Cooper. It's me, Sebastian," I'm already starting to cry as I try to say goodbye to him, "I just wanted to say I'm really sorry that this happened to you. And I'm gonna miss you, so much. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to you. I cared about you so much more than I ever got the chance to tell you. God, I should have told you. I really love you. I was just afraid to say it, you know? I'm just so sorry that I never had the guts to tell you. I hate myself so much right now."

I'm sobbing heavily, slowly drifting closer to the ground, "I'm just so sorry! I'm so sorry..." I stay there for a long time, weeping and unable to speak. When I eventually find the strength, I get to my feet and rest a hand on the head stone, "I guess I'm just trying to say that I love you, and I'm sorry I never told you before. Goodbye, Cooper." I feel myself start to tear up again at my last phrase. I quickly walk away from his grave, taking one last look before it's out of sight. I cry my whole way home, still unable to come to terms with his passing.

When I get home, I look for Hunter first thing. He's sitting on the couch watching the sun set over the city. I climb under his arm, still dressed in my black suit and tie from the funeral. He pulls me close to his side, rubbing my arm, "Hey sweetie, how are you doing?"

I exhale slowly, trying to keep my cool, "I'm okay. Better now that I'm with you, though. That was really tough. He had a brother, probably around my age, I got a chance to talk him."

He nods quietly, just listening intently as I ramble on.

"He seemed like such a sweet kid. I just, I feel so terrible, you know?"

"Yeah," he mutters, stroking my hair, "Don't feel too bad, though. It wasn't your fault. Sometimes things happen for a reason, you know?"

I nod, "I guess so. I hope so..."

"I promise they do." he reassures me with a light kiss on the cheek.

He holds me for a long time as we watch the sun fall and the city light up. I stare into the sky and take a moment to just appreciate that I still have Hunter rather than cursing everything everyone because I lost Cooper. I close my eyes and breathe his scent in, trying to turn my thoughts off and fall asleep.

**.The End.**


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